


A Holiday Reunion

by pennyinthepool



Series: A Holiday Reunion Series [1]
Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before (Movies), To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Best Friends, Christmas, Didn't Date in High School, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:33:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27692831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennyinthepool/pseuds/pennyinthepool
Summary: Best friends Lara Jean & Peter go back home for the holidays & 10 year high school reunion. To make their former partners jealous, they pretend to date. JUST FOR THE HOLIDAYS. How hard could it be?
Relationships: Genevieve "Gen"/Peter Kavinsky, John Ambrose McClaren/Lara Jean Song-Covey, Peter Kavinsky/Lara Jean Song-Covey
Series: A Holiday Reunion Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098833
Comments: 48
Kudos: 187





	1. Exes of Christmas Past

Lara Jean rocked back and forth on her heels trying to create body heat through her motion. Snow clumped on the sidewalk, creating an even more narrow walkway. She looked down the street to see if he was on his way. No car to be found. With her bags by her side she rubbed her hands together, praying he would arrive soon and get her out of the sudden cold snap. She sniffled and rubbed her chapped nose. “Where is he?” she mumbled to herself while removing her phone from her parka’s pocket.

BEEP BEEP. The horn rang out. She lifted her head and smiled. LJ grabbed her rolling bag and met him at the curb. “This Uber already sucks. You’re already down a star for making we wait in the cold.” She joked as he got out of the car to pop the trunk.

“Wait, I’m getting paid for this?” he pretended to be shocked and clicked the button to open up the back of the car. “Sorry, the rental place had the world’s slowest teller in the entire history of slow tellers. Think the sloth in that Zoo Disney movie you made me watch with you and put them on half speed.” He grabbed her bag and lifted it into the truck. “Shit, Covey. We’re going home for less than two weeks. How much stuff did you bring?”

“Peter Grant Kavinksy, when have you ever known me to not be an over packer? I bring 3 changes of clothes if we’re going on a day trip. You’re just lucky I’m not making you take my baking equipment back home.”

“I think you’re forgetting that your dad has a fully stocked kitchen.” He shook his head at her.

“But it’s not MY baking things. It’s not MY rolling pin, MY mixing bowls, MY special spatulas with the cute bow tie designs.” She went around to the passenger side door and got in, putting a tupperware and her purse at her feet.

“I think you’ll live.” He turned the keys in the ignition and waited for a moment to peel off Lara Jean’s street. “Did you bring the previously discussed delicacies?”

“What is a trip without sustenance?” she held up the clear plastic container holding the requested cookies for the ride back to Virginia. “Fruitcake and salted caramel snicker doodles at your service.”

“Hook me up with a fruitcake before we hit the road.” He said holding his mouth open to his best friend. Peter and Lara Jean had reconnected after college and moved to New York City at the same time. They both had jobs at Ponder Magazine. Lara Jean wrote for the Style & Beauty section; Peter worked in sales. They had become each other’s best friends & lifelines. The person they could rely on in the often-isolating hustle & bustle of the greatest city on Earth. They spent nearly every night palling around and enjoying all the treasures that New York City holds. They would go out to drink after work. Peter forced Lara Jean to go to work out classes with him in Central Park. They even embarked on a mission to find the best chocolate chip cookie in New York by trying a new bakery every weekend for over a year.

She put one in his mouth and grabbed a cookie for herself before closing the box. “So, what is on your agenda when we get home?”

“Christmas stuff with mom & Owen. Probably go drink with Trevor & Gabe at some point. I think Gabe is having a New Year’s Eve party. You should come to that. Then we have the reunion.” He turned into heavy traffic, knowing they were going to be stuck in peak holiday jams.

“Why do we have to go to that again? Haven’t we moved on? Do we really need to see what all the people who didn’t pay attention to me in high school look like now? Isn’t that what Facebook is for?” she protested. Lara Jean didn’t enjoy high school. She always felt passed over and compared to her sister; a standard no one else could truly live up to. She had her group of friends (Peter, Chris, Trevor, John, Gabe & Gen) but never felt like one of them. They were the well liked, popular, cool kids while she felt like she was always tagging along. She hit her stride in college, which she expected. But that didn’t elevate the dread of people who never talked to her back then acting like they were her best friend to get some free samples from work.

“You know we’re just going to hang out with our group though.” He grumbled through his cookie.

“Are you willingly wanting to spend your vacation with Gen?” she leaned to the window. She knew bringing up his ex would hit a sore spot. Peter had become a bit of a player since moving to NYC. He was handsome, had a cool job, and wasn’t a serial killer. What more could a girl ask for? Peter would constantly end the night after his dates at Lara Jean’s telling her about his wild adventures & watch old episodes of Friends. Even though he was “the man”, Gen still held a certain hold on his heart. Even bringing up her name, made Peter a full stress ball. 

“Absolutely not. Just the same way I’m sure you don’t want to be stuck with your ex-lova Johnny boy.” Lara Jean face palmed herself. Her and John Ambrose had dated senior year of high school & all through college. John was her first boyfriend, first love, first everything. She thought it would be them forever, but when John decided that Lara Jean needed to quit her job to move with him to Kansas City for his job, things got messy. He wanted to have kids young, move to the suburbs & live a quiet life. Lara Jean was not ready for that. She needed to live, to experience new people and things. She had successfully avoided John for the past few years and didn’t want to have to see him again, at least while she was still single.

“My dad told me he overheard at the supermarket that the McClaren’s were going away for the holidays. So, looks like I’m in the clear. Guess I just get to watch you suffer.” She jokingly smiled.

“You suck so much right now.” He rolled his eyes. “Just take the AUX cord. We have a long drive ahead of us.”

LJ grabbed the cord and plugged in her phone. “What are we feeling? What intentions should we set for our drive? Do we bust out the Christmas music yet or is that a half way through get our energy up move?” she pondered out loud.

“Oh my god. Just put it on shuffle and get on with it, lady.” He said trying to make the turn to the Holland Tunnel.

“Fine. Dear God who is a woman or whoever else is up there, please send us a song to start off our journey and set our intentions for our trip home.” She held up her phone like a pastor blessing the communion at church. “And shuffle.” She hit the button curious what would come on. The first notes of Jesse McCartney’s Beautiful Soul blasted over the speakers. “Oh my god. I can change this.” She laughed fumbling with her phone.

“You better not. God has spoken.” He let out a belly laugh. “I don’t want another pretty face, I don’t want just anyone to hold.” He sung out loudly. “This song still fucking slaps.”

Lara Jean threw her feet up in a fit of laughter. “I WANT YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOOOOUL” they belted together.

* * *

After hours on the road, they finally pulled off the interstate. “AH!” Lara Jean let out happily. “Finally!”

“Want to grab something at the diner before going home? I’m starving all of a sudden.” He said over the Michael Bublé Christmas music playing in the background.

“I could go for some fries.” She said scrolling on her phone. “My sisters have already been home for days. They can wait an hour.” She smiled at him as he pulled through downtown and into the parking lot of their favorite diner.

The Corner Café was their sanctuary during high school. Their friend group would take over the booth in the back and spend hours taking down milkshakes and talking about life. The waitresses still knew their names and orders to this day. Every time they go back in their favorite waitress, Joan, would remark about how much Lara Jean had grown & how handsome Peter had become.

Lara Jean and Peter entered the same friend group in the 7th grade when Gen decided it was time to be friends with boys. Their group did everything together, but that started to change Junior year of high school when Gen decided she was too cool for everyone else. She started hanging out with kids in the Senior class and slowly stopped responding to Lara Jean’s texts. Even after Peter’s attempts to get his girlfriend to hang out with their crew, it seemed fruitless. The group eventually went their semi separate ways with combinations still mingling. Lara Jean clung to Chris, needing a best girl friend to get her through. The two of them would sometimes go to Gabe’s parties after lacrosse games. They were all, except Gen, still friendly with each other but it was never the same.

“I feel like we haven’t been home in forever.” Peter said taking off his heavy coat.

“Did you not love Thanksgiving in New York though? We got to watch the parade from our office while drinking an uncountable number of mimosas. Plus, take out Thanksgiving.” She smiled at the thought of their variety of worldly cuisines they had spent far too much money on to avoid try cooking a turkey in either of their small apartments.

“True. When was the last time came back though? I came over the summer to help my mom for a long weekend, but you didn’t go then.”

“March, I think?” she shrugged. “I don’t know. We’re here now.” She ran her hands along the mustard colored vinyl booth.

He smiled at her cheekily. “How did your date go last night? I forgot to ask. Bobby from your art class, right?”

“Yeah. It was fine. He took me to an art gallery in SoHo. He was nice, but all he talked about was art. Like the history of the artist and post-modernist impressionism or whatever style it was. I kept trying to talk about something else but he just kept bringing it back to art.” LJ took a sip of her Coke that the waitress had just left on their table. “As appetizers were being passed around, I asked him what would be his last meal and he’d want Campbells’ Soup, like the Warhol can. I can’t trust anyone who would want SOUP for their last meal ever.”

“Maybe he was trying to relate it to your common interest.”

“He does one art class at a community center. He’s barely Banksy, Peter. Plus, I wouldn’t know if we shared any other interests since he wouldn’t share anything else about himself. No thank you.”

“His loss.” He shrugged. “Did you I tell what my mom told me the other night?”

“No. Tell me.” she rolled up the sleeves of her oversized sweater.

“Apparently, Taylor Renner and Evan Freedman got a divorce.”

“No!” she sighed. “They’ve been married since they were like 12. Don’t they have like a bunch of kids and stuff?”

“4 kids. I went on an Instagram stalk. Imagine someone our age having 4 kids? I can’t even keep a succulent alive.”

“That’s so sad. I feel bad for them. They like don’t know life without each other.” She took a fry from the basket. “I mean it’s not crazy for people our age to have kids, but 4 is… a lot. Remember when you said you though Taylor was cute in 9th grade and Gen convinced her to move to the farthest lunch table just so you couldn’t see her easily.”

He rolled his eyes. “I remember.” He took a sip of his shake and his eyes went wide as he looked out the large picture window. “Lara Jean, are you sure about the McClarens going away for the holidays?”

“What are you saying?” she asked, her heart rate increasing.

“I think I just made eye contact with John… and now he’s coming in… and he’s opening the door.”

Lara Jean felt a wave of anxiety build. She refused to look back. “Peter. Help me.” She mouthed.

He nodded and smiled as John approached. “John Ambrose McClaren.” He got up and gave him a hug. “How are you man? Everything good?”

“Nice to see you, man. Merry Christmas. It’s been so long.” He looked down at the table. His eyes lingering on his ex-girlfriend. “Hi, Lara Jean.” He said breathlessly.

“Hi.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. She sucked in a tight breath. “Are you home with your family for the holidays?”

“Yeah. Got in from Kansas City yesterday. We were supposed to go on a cruise but my aunt is sick so they cancelled the whole thing.” He looked her up and down. “You look…great.”

“Thank you. You too John Ambrose, you also look dapper…well…healthy?” She cringed out of her skin & tried to fake a smile. She looked to Peter to bail her out of this situation.

“So, Johnny, are you going to the reunion next week?” he said trying to take the pressure of LJ. He could feel the table shaking from her legs restlessly moving.

“Was thinking about it.” He smiled. “I wasn’t supposed to be here but, you know. Maybe it’ll be fun.”

“Cool. Well, let us know what you decide. It’d be great to hang out.” Peter smiled and schmoozed him with the patented Kavinsky charm.

“Will do.” John smiled and looked back and forth at them. “I’m just picking up some burgers for everyone. I’ll see you around.” He paused his gaze on Lara Jean for just a moment longer than expected. “Tell your Dad I said hello.”

She shook her head, lips pursed together. She watched as he paid at the counter and walked out of the café. She let out a long breath once the bell that hung above the door lightly rang.

“That was…” Peter struggled for words to say. “Bad. That was really bad on your part.”

“Why am I like this?” she leaned back and threw her head back.

“I mean it would be kind of funny if I wasn’t so entirely embarrassed for you.” He joked eating another fry.

“I’m glad my crawling out of my skin can provide you with entertainment.” She threw a fry at him playfully.

* * *

Lara Jean laced up her sneakers and put in her ear buds. She had her hands in her old fleece jacket’s pockets and needed some time away from her family.

When she arrived back after going to the diner with Peter, she was met with a million things to do. Kitty and Margo had been planning tomorrow night’s Christmas Eve dinner for a week. They had planned out sides, drinks, deserts. They had it down to a T even though they would not be cooking, Lara Jean would.

Lara Jean sat at the counter with her sisters for over an hour scanning over the recipes and arguing if cranberries belonged in the stuffing. All she wanted was some peaceful time with her sisters but that wasn’t happening with Margo’s young daughter running around.

She decided to go for a walk instead. She had texted both Peter & Chris to see if they wanted to join but neither responded. She was doing this solo. She put on a jazzy Christmas music playlist and headed out into the grey winter dusk.

Her hometown streets looked the same as they had her entire life. The colonial and craftsman style houses lining the streets were lit up with twinkling Christmas lights. It felt magical. She imagined this could be the picture representing a small-town Christmas in the dictionary. She passed her step mom Trina’s old house before turning the corner. She had no idea where she was going but think her subconscious brain was taking her to the park.

She felt cozy even as the air, crisp and keen, stung the tops of her cheeks. She loved that she could walk around her hometown with headphones in not having to watch her back like she did in the big city. She loved New York but her hometown was a much-needed escape.

She entered the park off Evergreen Lane. No one was there. The soccer field looked like they stretched for miles in the moonlight with the lines faded. A few remnants of snow laid on the ground from a small fall earlier this week. Lara Jean was pulled to the playground. She climbed to the highest point near the swirling slide. Growing up, she thought she could see the entire world from this spot. She took in a long deep breath trying to embrace the memories of her sisters & friends running around the wooden playset. She giggled at the memory of Kitty trying to act like she was fine as tears streamed down her face from getting her first splinter on her knee in the crawl tunnel at 5.

She took out her phone and snapped a picture of the wide metal slide. She sent it off to Peter.

_I will never forgive you for the 2 nd degree burn._

She grinned and rolled her eyes as she read his quick response.

_Excuse me. Wasn’t that the same day you kissed McClaren after he rescued you with some Aloe from his mom’s garden? I think I did you a favor. You’re welcome._

She slid her phone back into her pocket and decided to take the long way home. She walked past the baseball diamond and basketball blacktop. She went got out of the park and mozied around the circle. She was looking down at her phone reading a work email when she heard the familiar voice ring out. “Lara Jean.”

“Hi.” She looked up and felt her heart in her throat. She still was taken aback to see John Ambrose again. He looked exactly the same as he did a few years ago. He still had a baby face was also somehow chiseled and handsome. Lara Jean used to think he could be a catalog model, just so approachably handsome. He was walking his family’s dog, Banjo. Banjo was sniffing up Lara Jean’s leg. She kneeled down to pet him behind his ear. “Hi buddy.”

John joined her close to the ground and pet his dog’s back. “He’s so much older now. He can’t hear that well anymore.”

“Aw. Poor sweet baby. I remember when you brought him home. You were so excited. You didn’t even put him down. You just held him for days.” She smiled up at him.

“His head was so much bigger than his body. I just kept thinking he was going to fall over.”

“Typical John Ambrose.” She smiled back cheekily. They held each other’s gaze for a moment. The only sound between them the occasional whistle of the wind.

“So, uh, how are you doing? How’s New York?”

“It’s good. You know. Work is always busy.”

“You know I still read all of your articles.” His eyes daggered into her soul. She felt her heart flutter.

“You do?” she blinked quickly, trying to contain her emotions.

“Every one.” He leaned his head to the side and bit his lip. Lara Jean felt her breath hitch. His hold on her made her body feel like it just did 1000 jumping jacks. She watched his breath in the air on the cold winter night. She started to feel his body heat as he slowly leaned in closer.

Unconsciously she started to move closer. The old dog was the only distance between them. She quickly realized what she was doing and jumped back. “I can’t.” she shook her head.

“I just—” John started. “I’m sorry, I just thought—”

“I have a boyfriend.” She blurted out without thinking. She scrunched her face immediately regretting her lie.

“Oh, I didn’t know.” He got up slowly, eyes still locked on her.

“Yeah. We’ve just been keeping it… private. Sorry if I—”

“No worries. He’s a lucky guy. I hope I get to meet him at the reunion.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I’ll see you around.” He nodded at her. “Come on Banjo.” He motioned to the dog leading them back to his house.

Lara Jean stood their gob smacked. What hell had she gotten herself into?


	2. A Pancake Proposition

The sizzle of the griddle and the loud Christmas pop song overwhelmed the knock at the door. Lara Jean, dawning an elf apron over a white Henley and dark green joggers flipped the pancakes and continued to dance around the kitchen, trying to avoid thinking about her interaction with John Ambrose last night.

Peter stuck in head into the Covey house. “Hello?” he yelled out and smiled seeing Lara Jean in all her holiday cooking glory.

“Santa, is that you?” she yelled back, immediately recognizing his voice. “I’m back here.”

He slid off his sneakers and hung his coat on the rack. “It looks like Christmas threw up in here.”

Lara Jean fiddled with her phone, turning the music down. “Then I must be doing it right.”

“So why the urgent text this morning? We were already coming here tonight for the block party. What had to be discussed this early on my vacation?” he leaned up against the counter.

“I almost kissed John last night.” She spat out then immediately threw her hands over her mouth.

“Shit.” He smirked at her. “You see him once in like 4 years and you just want to jump his bones.”

“Peter, it’s not funny. I stopped myself right before it happened but like, I wanted to.”

“Then why didn’t you?” he eyed down the pancakes. “Can I have one of those?”

“Yeah, you want some coffee too?” she said turning to her dad’s machine. He nodded and she grabbed a mug from the cabinet above. Her father still strongly believed in a pot of coffee. No Keurig’s were to step food in the Covey household. “I can’t let him control my life. There is no way I am moving to Kansas City, Peter. NO WAY.”

“You can make out with him without having to marry him. You do know, that right?” he took a sip of his coffee and shivered as the brown liquid warmed up his body.

“But it’s John Ambrose and I. You were there when it ended. Badly.”

“Again, you don’t need to fall in love with him. You can just make out with him while you’re both here for Christmas and then go back to your perspective cities and never talk about it again. You know like normal people.”

“Well I think I ruined all chances of that last night.” She plated a pancake and slid it to Peter.

“Por que?” he said as he lifted the pancakes up to his mouth. “These are really good.”

“Extra vanilla.” She said taking off another pancake for herself. “When we were about to kiss, I may or may not have yelled that I have a boyfriend as a reason I couldn’t kiss him.”

Peter belly laughed. “You have a secret boyfriend you haven’t told us about?”

“Peter!” she rubbed her temples. “It just vomited out before I could even put two brain cells together. Then John said he is going to the reunion and can't wait to meet my imaginary boyfriend. What the hell am I going to do?”

“This hole just keeps getting deeper.”

“This is such a mess and we haven’t even been home for 18 hours.”

“Hurricane Lara Jean is in full force.” He smirked refereeing to what he called her anxiety spirals that were usually solved by a night of Moscow Mules, Thai food & Carly Rae Jepsen dance parties.

“I can’t show up to the reunion without anyone now. I’m not going. I can’t deal with that. Nope.” She put her hands up as anxious energy raced through her body.

“You have to come. We need each other too much at parties. We know how to get each other out of things too well. I refuse to go to the biggest party without my party pal.” He crossed his arms.

“Peter, I don’t physically think I could take that embarrassment.”

“Then…go with me.” He said off-handedly.

“What?” she shot him a look.

“We can pretend to date for John for one night.” He tried to read LJ’s face. “We’ll be hanging together anyway. Just we’ll hold hands when he looks our way.” A silence hung in the room. Peter continued, “I mean it would make sense to everyone who we’re not friends with. We live in the same city. We post pictures together on Instagram. They don’t need to know we are just best friends.” He searched her confused face.

“What are you even? What? No.” she thought she must be going crazy from this proposition. Peter was her best friend, but it had never been romantic. Sure, Lara Jean had a crush on him in the 7th grade, but that was 15 years ago. There was nothing there now. What would possess him to even suggest this.

“Listen, I don’t want to show up single either. I saw on Insta that Gen got engaged last night. I can’t be that dude. I was cool in high school. I have expectations to uphold. You get to make John jealous. I get to make Gen jealous. I think this is actually a great idea.” He leaned back in his bar stool.

“Peter, you are out of your mind.” She took another pancake off the griddle.

“I think you are not taking advantage of the excellent opportunity laid out in front of you.”

“Peter, drop it.” She rolled her eyes at him and saw her sister coming down the stairs. “Good morning, Kitty.” Her younger sister rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and lit up the moment she saw Peter. “Peter!” she hurried down the stairs and threw her arms around him.

“What up Kitty-Cat?” he said giving her an extra squeeze. Peter had bonded with Kitty on a weekend trip to NYC where she came out to Lara Jean about 2 years ago. She & Peter went on a long walk in Central Park when LJ had to finish writing a story to meet her deadlines. Since then, Peter would check in on the younger Covey sister once a week, like clockwork. Lara Jean constantly joked that she was no longer his favorite Covey girl.

“Why are you here? It’s so early.” She grabbed a plate of pancakes and started to fill her face.

“Just had some things to talk about.” Peter looked over at Lara Jean and smiled. “Plus, pancakes.”

“Are you & Owen coming to the block party tonight?” Kitty asked pulling her hair up into a bun on top of her head.

“Of course, we’ll be there. I’ve gone to the block party every year since the 1st grade.”

“Good.” Kitty smiled. “These are really good, by the way.” She looked over at her sister.

“Extra vanilla.” Both Peter & Lara Jean said at the same time. They shot each other glances and started laughing.

“You two are the worst.” Kitty said getting up and going back upstairs. “I’ll see you later, Peter.”

“I should get going too.” He got up and gave Lara Jean a quick side hug. “Just think about it.”

* * *

The annual Christmas Eve block party was Lara Jean’s favorite holiday tradition. After dinner was done, the entire town would emerge on the cul-de-sac and share in the holiday joy. Mrs. Gregory set up a face painting station in her drive way for the little kids. The Rodriguez’s handed out cookies & hot cocoa. The Quinn brothers played Christmas music on their guitars. It made the holidays seem just a little bit cozier & more magical.

Lara Jean walked arm and arm with Margo down the street to reach the party. “So, I have this friend who I think you’d be perfect with.”

“Margo.” Lara Jean huffed. Her sister was obsessed with her getting in a relationship. She constantly would send her pictures of boys she worked with that were ‘perfect’ for her. Lara Jean understood she was trying to be helpful, but most of the time it just made her feel even worse.

“Listen, he’s really nice. He’s one of Ravi’s friends who just moved to New York. He’s really cute. I think he looks just like that guy from Outlander. The cute one. Not the old one.”

“Margo, I really don’t need you to set me up. I can meet someone on my own.” She smiled at the Edwards & their three-year-old triplets as they entered the center of the party.

“I just want you to be happy, LJ.” She unlatched their arms and rubbed both her sister’s shoulders.

“I know. Thank you. I’m doing really good though. I just got a huge promotion at work & I have my own little circle in New York. I’m happy.” She smiled and reassured her sister.

“Whatever you say.” She hip bumped her. “I’m going to go find Kitty. You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna hang with Peter.” She smiled and made her way through the crowd of people. She spotted his curly hair above the crowd. It was easy to find him when he towered above everyone else. She slithered her way next to him and hugged him from the side.

“Hey stranger.” He said hugging her back. He turned back to his neighbor Fred, who had children a few years old than she and Peter. “You remember Lara Jean Covey, right?”

“Yes Lara Jean, your Dr. Dan’s daughter.”

“Yes sir.” She let go of Peter and shook the man’s hand.

“Well I will let you two get to it. Merry Christmas!” he waved.

“Merry Christmas Mr. Fred!” Peter yelled out then turned to Lara Jean. “How was your Grandma’s?”

“Fine. They are all just obsessed with Margo’s baby.”

“Is she here? I should go say hi.” Peter said glancing around.

“We’ll see her later. She’s off finding Kitty.” She let go of his side and they started walking towards the hot cider stand.

“So, have you done any more thinking into my proposition from this morning?” he leaned down next to her.

“Absolutely not.” She poked him.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “I don’t get you sometimes.” They approached the front of the booth. “Two spiked ciders please.” He smiled as the man handed him two cups. “Thank you.” They both sung out as they turned to leave. Peter handed her one of the cups. “Cheers.” They clinked plastic cups and took a sip of the rich crisp liquid. “Oh, that’s so good.”

“Heavy pour.” She puckered her lips.

“Exactly why it’s so good.” He smiled back at her. “Wanna walk?”

“Sure.” She said following his lead out of the main attractions of the holiday block party. “How was dinner with your mom and Owen?”

“Good. Owen was telling me all about his trip to the Bahamas that he’s leaving for on the 26th. That kid travels more than he works, I swear.”

“Being in a sunny place at Christmas time just doesn’t compute in my brain. Like being in flip flops on Christmas feels against Santa’s will or something.” 

“Lara Jean, do we need to have the Santa is not real talk again?”

“You know what I mean, asshole.” She took a large gulp of her drink. “So, I was a jerk and didn’t ask this morning, but how are you feeling about the whole engagement thing?”

“Ugh.” He cleared his throat. “Worse than expected. Just makes me feel like… behind in life, if that makes any sense. It’s one thing when random people you know are doing things with their life, it’s another when it’s one of the people you grew up with.”

“And were madly in love with for your formative years.” Lara Jean offered.

“That too.” He shrugged.

“I think I get it though. I had a quarter life crisis when Margo announced she was pregnant two years ago.”

“Yeah. I just wanted to be the one who won the break up.”

“You’re so petty. You live in the best city in the world, have a killer job, a good apartment, a fantastic best friend.” She giggled. “You won a long time ago.” She leaned her head to one side and smiled.

“Thanks Covey.” He put his arm over her shoulder. “I hate that I needed to hear that.” 

She laughed and took another sip of her drink. They walked further down the street to another group of people gathered together.

“Shit.” Peter mumbled under his breath.

She looked up at him. “What?”

He nodded over to the group where John & Gen were mingling in a group of people around their age. “Shit.” She replied. “Are we too close to turn around or—”

“PETER! LJ!” the yell came out from the crowd. There was no turning around now. The best friends looked at each other and took a deep breath. They walked closer to the group until they saw Trevor running towards them.

“Hi guys!” Lara Jean waved with her free hand. Trevor ran over and picked her up. “Merry Christmas Covey!” 

“You too!” she said as he put her down. “You look great.”

“Thanks.” He went over to Peter and gave him a hug. “I feel like I haven’t come visit in so long.”

“You haven’t.” Peter said poking fun at his childhood best friend.

“Come on, I’ll get you a beer.” He said motioning them to crowd. Peter and Lara Jean gave each other an assuring look and followed Trevor. They tried to lay low but that never worked with Peter who was still the most popular guy in town. They arrived at the cooler, got a beer, and posted up near an extra unused beer pong table.

“When did yall get back?” Trevor asked.

“Yesterday.” Lara Jean smiled. “What about you?” She tried to pay attention to Trevor but kept making momentary eye contact with a snarling Gen.

“Last week. I can work remote so thought I’d make a long trip out of it. It’s nice to have my mom do my laundry. It just smells better if that makes any sense.”

“Yes. 100%.” Peter echoed. They laughed and high fived like 5-year olds. Lara Jean giggled. When these two were together, the energy was off the charts. They were like an old-school double act. Lara Jean loved to just be in the room as they went back and forth, trying to one up each other on the joke.

“Hi guys!” she heard John approach before she saw him. An anxiety rose in her body. Her body clenched as she remembered the almost kiss last night. She immediately went to Peter’s side. Peter looked down at her. “Now or never.” He whispered just loud enough for her to hear. 

She shot back a “help me” look. “Fine.” She said through a clenched smile. Peter grabbed her hand and interlocked their fingers.

“Hey John!” Trevor, the human embodiment of a golden retriever bounded over to their friend.

“Oh my gosh, Trevor!” he smiled widely in his oversized hoodie and Timberlands.

“I didn’t think you were going to be home.” Trevor smiled, fully engaged in every conversation.

“Yeah, trip got cancelled.” John’s eyes lasered in at Peter and LJ hand in hand and blinked in rapid succession, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “Oh.”

“Hi Johnny.” Peter nodded at him. “How did the burgers go down?”

“Good. You know Corner Café.” He gulped and began staring at Lara Jean. She put her other hand around his arm. “I’m so sorry for yesterday. I didn’t know this was… yeah.”

Lara Jean nodded her head up and down, not able to say any actual words. Peter looked down and smiled. “No biggie. We’ve just been keeping it private.” Peter pulled her close to him and kissed the top of her head.

“Wait, what?” Kitty & Margo stood with her mouths agape as they were approaching the group. “This is happening?” Kitty guided her hand between them.

“Uh, yeah.” Lara Jean faked a smile at her sister. “I was going to wait to tell you, but guess you just found out.” She felt a pit in her stomach from lying to her sisters.

“Oh my gosh!” Kitty squealed. “That must have been why he was over this morning. Ew.” She scrunched her face realizing what that really meant.

Lara Jean put her head in her hands and went beat red. Peter pulled her close into his side, trying to comfort her. “We’ve been friends forever. It just kind of happened. Right, Lara Jean?” he looked from John Ambrose who was still trying to process it all.

“Yes.” She looked to him trying to expand the lie. “We were just hanging out one night. Wine was flowing and we just let all the feelings out.”

“When did it happen? I can’t believe you didn’t tell us before now.” Margo crossed her arms in front of her. Lara Jean watched as Gen leaned in closer to their circle of friends to hear the explanation.

“About a month ago. We were both stuck in the city for Thanksgiving.” Lara Jean explained, impressed she was so good at making up their dating history.

“Wow.” John said warming his hands together.

“Yeah. She’s been my best friend for so long. It just felt, natural.” He looked down at her with admiration in his eyes and shrugged.

Lara Jean held his gaze for a moment. His green eyes shining in the street lights put her into a small haze. She shook out of it and moved his hand away from holding her side. “We’re gonna go walk.” She smiled at the group. “Catch up with you guys later.” She said grabbing Peter’s hand and walking away right past Gen.

* * *

They walked into the park and sat on a wooden picnic table. “Okay. That kind of worked.” She said mischievously.

“I told you it would.” He smirked. “You can apologize for calling me dumb later. It’s fine.”

“You’re not dumb Peter.” She put her hair behind her ears. “But we need to have rules to make this work.”

“Why do you have to take the fun out of everything?” he said pulling out a beanie from his pocket and putting it over his head and ears.

“We need to be believable if anyone is going to actually believe us. I am a terrible liar. We learned that at the improv class you made me take with you. Rules will keep us on track for while we’re here for the holidays.”

“Fine.” He rolled his eyes. “You do suck at lying.” She stuck out her tongue at him.

“Rule number one - We have to keep to a simple backstory.” She took out her phone and started typing. “I’ll send you the note.”

“So, what is the simple backstory?” he asked.

“I think it’s best not to make it complicated. Thanksgiving is actually a great cover since no one else was there. So, we got together then when you said you were obsessed with me and have been dating for a month.”

“Why do I have to be obsessed with you?” he protested. “You would be way more likely to obsess over me.”

“We can just say we were obsessed with each other.” She rolled her eyes.

“Okay.” He smiled. “Rule number 2 – We have to act like a couple at all family & friend functions now. That means going out with me to parties & not backing out of the reunion.”

“Fine. But rule 3 is minimal PDA. We can be dating, but I’m not making out with you.”

“Some people would pay good money to make out with me, but fine.”

“And one more.” She looked up from her phone. “This is over when we get back to the city.”

“Duh.” He said. “I know it will be hard, but you’ll need to resist falling in love with me.”

LJ kicked him under the table. “Becomes easier and easier when you say shit like that.” She giggled. “And sent.” The whoosh of the phone rang out.

Peter got up and extended his hand to Lara Jean. “Now come on fake girlfriend, let’s go shock more people at the party.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your super kind feedback!  
> I have wanted to incorporate some movie moments into this story! Hope the picnic table rules give you those feels.  
> Christmas Song Rec: It's Not Christmas Till Somebody Cries - Carly Rae Jepsen


	3. You're A Gift To Me

The loud footsteps on the wood floor woke Lara Jean up early Christmas morning. “Auntie LJ!” a toddler’s voice bellowed. “SANTA CAME!”

“No way.” A sleepy Lara Jean replied head still in her pillow.

“Yes! He ate cookies!” her niece Sara squealed and ran out of her room. Lara Jean slowly sat up and rubbed the night out of her eyes. She went to the bathroom and splashed water on her face. In the mirror, her hair was plopped in a messy bun on top of her head. Her nose was a bit chapped from being out in the chilly winds. The agreement made last night filled her mind. _What have I gotten myself into?_ She sighed as she splashed another bit of water on her face. She grabbed a fancy hand towel and pressed its soft cotton to her face.

When she made her way downstairs, her dad was at their ancient stereo system trying to figure out how to put on his favorite Christmas CD. Margo was making coffees for everyone. “Cream & 2 sugars?” she asked as LJ reached the bottom step.

“Yes.” She took the cup and breathed in the nutty aroma. “Thanks, Go-Go.” She watched Sara run around the family room, impatiently waiting to open presents. Her daughter, who had recently turned 2, had even less patience than her mother. “SANTA!” she pointed to the gifts under the tree.

“You got it, kiddo.” Dr. Covey said lifting his grandchild into the air. Everyone else gathered around and took their seats on the large sectional to open presents.

Kitty laid her head on LJ’s shoulder as they watched the little girl gleefully dig into the mountain of toys they had all bought her. “I’m still wrapping my head around the whole Peter thing.”

“Why?” Lara Jean knew that if this plan was going to work, she had to stay strong especially to her sisters.

“I mean, I always thought it would happen eventually, but like, just seems crazy that it’s actually happening. Does that make sense?”

“Kinda.” She played along. “It was a surprise to me too.” She smiled back and patted her sister’s knee. “You’re okay with it though. I know you have your own special relationship and I don’t want you to think you can’t anymore.”

“More than okay with it.” She smiled. “Thrilled. You always are a better version of you when you’re with him.” The words played over and over in her mind. Why had no one told her this before? She was always most comfortable with him. Did she actually have feelings for him? She needed to shake out of this.

“LJ!” Sara’s sweet voice yelled out as she stood in front of her with a box larger than her body in hand.

“Thank you, sweetie.” She smiled at the rest of her family watched her open the box. She could see what it was as soon as she tore open the sparkly green wrapping. “Cute! Crust cutters! Someone looked in my William Sonoma shopping cart!” she smiled and looked over at her dad and Trina who asked what she wanted a few weeks ago. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome honey.” Trina smiled back. “I just hope it gets us some more deserts while you’re here.”

“Like I need an excuse to make a pie.” She giggled.

* * *

They had opened every present imaginable. Toys and clothes were piled high, a fruitful morning for all involved. The family were now huddled around the large kitchen table. Dr. Covey gave strict orders to stay out of the kitchen on Christmas morning as he made his “world famous” bacon & egg casserole. Everyone, still decked out in their PJ’s, sang along to Christmas music coming from the newly acquired wireless speaker set the three daughters had chipped in to buy their dad. Little Sara danced around with Kitty as Paul McCartney melodic “ding dong” & 80s synths filled the house.

Lara Jean was looking over Ravi’s shoulder watching him learn how to use his new Nintendo Switch when she heard a knock on the door. She popped up. “I got it.” She twirled as she walked through Kitty & Sara dancing to get to the front door.

“Hi!” she smiled widely at her unexpected visitors. “OWEN!” she said throwing her arms around the younger Kavinsky. “How are you? Have you gotten taller? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Wow, the newer model shows up and you forget about me, huh?” Peter jokingly scoffed as he walked in the door.

LJ was suddenly fully aware that she was still in her Christmas jammies. She crossed her arms over her body and slightly gritted her teeth “What are you doing here?”

“Owen wanted to say hi.” He grinned. “Plus, my mom told us we were annoying her and needed to get out of the house.”

She rolled her eyes and lead them into where the rest of the family was sitting. “Peter & Owen are here.”

“The Kavinsky brothers.” Dr. Covey announced in the kitchen. “How are you boys doing? Want to join us for breakfast? Plenty of egg casserole to go around.” He said turning back to the oven.

“Sure.” Owen immediately went to sit with Kitty and Sara who were coloring. LJ turned to Peter. “We can stay for a bit.” Peter shrugged. Lara Jean shot him a look. “I wish you would have told me you were coming.” She tried to sound not annoyed with her best friend.

“I just couldn’t wait to see you.” He put his arm around her as they both leaned up against the back of the couch. “I’ll make sure to text next time.” He whispered in her ear. She nodded and smiled up at him.

“What are you two love birds talking about?” Margo glanced at them across the room.

“Love birds?” Dr. Covey shot a glance from Trina to Margo to Lara Jean & Peter, almost comically. LJ hadn’t gotten to share her new situation with her dad and step mom yet. This was going to be interesting.

“Peter & LJ.” Margo motioned to the “couple”.

“Well, it’s about time.” Dr. Covey put down his breakfast bake and wiped his hands on the dish towel that was thrown over his shoulder. He went over and gave Peter a hand shake. “Took you long enough.”

“Thank you, sir?” He choked back laughter.

“Well this is exciting.” Trina rose her eyebrows at LJ. “You’ll have to give me the deets later.” Lara Jean smiled back. She hated having to live this lie. It was one thing when it was just Peter & her involved. It was another things when it involved her family.

“Now let’s eat.” Dr. C said going back to the kitchen.

“I guess you’re having breakfast.” She nodded to the table.

“Guess so.” He said grabbing a spare chair that was floating in the family room from opening presents earlier. “Nice PJ’s by the way. Very hot.”

LJ instantly blushed before smacking his arm. “I would say so many things right now if we weren’t in the presence of a child.” She sneered.

* * *

The Coveys (plus the two Kavinskys) spread out throughout the house after they finished their fluffy egg casserole. Peter and Lara Jean sat on the couch with Kitty and Owen. The two younger siblings sat glued to Kitty’s phone as they watched an endless stream of Tic Toks.

“Wanna go outside?” Peter ran his hands through his curls.

“We’ll go out back.” Lara Jean nodded and ran to grab a fluffy cardigan from the front door. She led them to the sofa situated next to the fire pit her dad had gotten the family last fall. She pulled her legs up onto the sofa and sat cross-legged.

Peter sat facing her. “So, Gen texted me last night.” He raised his eyebrows.

“Did she beg for you back?” Lara Jean said with an overexaggerated pout.

“She wants to meet up.” He shrugged.

“You should absolutely not go.”

“Why?”

“What reason do you have? And don’t say just to catch up. You never just want to catch up.” She waited for a response from him, but it never came. “All she is going to do is get in your head. She has obviously moved on. She’s freaking engaged and just wants to prove she can still get you if she wants to.”

“You just hate her because its Gen.”

“No. I hate her because I’ve seen her do it to you multiple times and you don’t deserve to be treated like shit.”

“I might just go over and say hi.” He shrugged.

“As your fake girlfriend, do I have a say in this?”

“No.” he answered bluntly.

“Won’t it give off the wrong impression if you’re supposed to be in another relationship and go running to her whenever she calls.” She protested.

He wiggled in his seat and threw his head back. “Why do we let people have this power over us?”

“Because we are people pleasers and they were some of the first people outside of our familes who gave us love for pleasing them so we feel a deep imbedded gratitude to them, even though they were emotionally manipulative because we love hard.” Lara Jean exhaled. “Or at least that’s how my therapist described it.”

“Fuck. At least we’re messed up the same way?”

“89% of why our friendship endures.”

“What’s the other 11?”

“Knowing each other’s take-out orders & codependency.” 

He laughed and sat in a comfortable silence for a moment. “I got you something.”

“What?” she was taken aback. “I didn’t. We usually don’t do—” her heart rate quickened.

“Don’t worry about it. I saw it and thought of you.” He took a small box out of his jacket pocket. “It’s not like your fancy gift wrapping or anything, but...” He held it out for her.

Her heart filled with giddiness. She took the small box gingerly from him and opened up the top. “Peter.” She delicately lifted the small charm from the box and admired its silver sheen in the sunlight. It was of a small book. Her fingernail clipped slid under a small hatch revealing a delicate engraving.

“It’s from Pride & Prejudice. The quote. I remember you telling me it was your favorite part when we watched the movie.” He smiled widely so proud of his gift giving skills.

Lara Jean felt like she was about to burst out in tears. She couldn’t believe how thoughtful this was. She couldn’t believe he remembered. She examined the small book charm closer. “In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” She read sweetly. She looked up at him beaming.

“You like it?” he bit his lip cheekily. “I thought it would be good on your charm bracelet.”

“I love it.” She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close. She breathed in his musky clean scent and relaxed into the hug.

He felt her chest rise and fall against his and leaned his head against hers and slid his arm around her back. “Your entire family is watching us from the living room.” He chuckled, not daring to be the first to break the embrace. “There all huddled behind the couch.”

“WE CAN SEE YOU!” Lara Jean screamed before hearing a parade of footsteps scatter from inside the great room.

“I guess we don’t care about my ability to hear!” he said leaning his head away from hers.

“You have another ear, it’ll be fine.” She paused for a moment, staring into his eyes. Her sweet friend smiled back at her so warmly she felt her face go red. She felt her heart flip, her pulse increasing. She resisted the urge to lean in. She removed her arms around his neck and leaned away.

Peter leaned back against the couch and shook his head at LJ. He rolled his eyes and watched as she fiddled with the charm between her fingers.

* * *

Lara Jean talked Peter & Owen to the door after saying goodbye to the rest of the family. She swayed back and forth feeling slightly high from the excitement of the morning.

“So, I’ll pick you up tomorrow at noonish for the toy drive thing?” he turned to her as he put in his navy coat.

“Sounds good.” She smiled and turned to Owen. “Have so much fun on your trip!” she gave him a quick hug.

“Thanks LJ.” He smiled. “And thank you for taking care of Peter.”

“Anytime.” She said turning back to her fake boyfriend. They stood there for a while just looking gleefully at each other, like they had pulled off the greatest con.

“We should get going.” Peter said breaking their eye contact. “Mom probably didn’t think we’d be gone this long.”

Lara Jean nodded. “Okay. See you tomorrow.” She got on her tippy toes and kissed him on the cheek. He stood there frozen for a moment and tried to fight the urge to bite his lip. He pulled her in for a tight hug and raspily whispered. “Good Job.”

He let go of her after lingering for an extra moment and she took a step back and shook her head. “Bye everyone!” Peter yelled out while exiting through the front door.

“Bye Peter!” Kitty yelled back. Lara Jean turned to see her two sisters watching her every movement from the couch. They both gave her goofy looks before breaking out in “EEEEWWWWW” lovingly making fun of her.

Lara Jean plopped down between them and rolled her eyes. She crossed her arms and smiled. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are those FEELINGS!?!? Thanks for the love on the previous chapter! Next chapter will be posted this weekend :) 
> 
> Christmas Song Recs: Wonderful Christmastime - Paul McCartney & Glittery - Kasey Musgraves & Troye Sivan


	4. I've Got You

“Ready for this?” Peter asked grabbing a box from the trunk.

Lara Jean leaned against his car. “I feel like I should be the one asking you.” She closed the trunk of his car. “You know she’s going to be there.”

“She is.” He nodded as they walked towards their high school’s gymnasium.

“Well I’m proud of you for not going over last night, if that means anything.” She smiled.

“Yeah.” He said sucking his tongue.

“You didn’t go over right?” she said stepping in front, making him stop in his tracks.

“I didn’t go over. She asked me to…a lot. But something told me not to.” He looked deep into her eyes. “I swear. It’s just making today seem more…dangerous?”

Lara Jean nodded her head and stepped to the side. “We can go back to the car if you want. We can ditch the toys with a stranger & go to for a drive or something.”

Peter shook his head. “No. We should go. We’re already here and I need to be able to see her without freaking out.”

“Can you hold the box in one hand?”

“I think so, why?” he said transferring the box under one of his arms.

“Here.” She grabbed his hand tightly and looked up at him assuredly. “You’ve got me.”

He stared down at their interlocked hands and shook his head. He felt the tightening of his body start to fade.

“Now let’s be good people, donate toys and get the fuck out of here.” She said starting to drag him into the bustle of the gym.

For years now, the local church has had a day after Christmas toy drive for preschools in lower income areas. Originally it was just a toy drop off in a parking lot. Now it had turned into a mini festival. Gen & Chris’s moms used to run the whole event so their whole friend group was forced to volunteer during high school. Lara Jean & Chris used to dole out cookies and coco. Peter & Trevor used to run some of the booths with games. It was a tradition that endured even though their group had gone their separate ways.

“Want me to do the talking?” LJ asked as they got in line to drop off their toys.

“Sure.” He said. His face looked a ghostly shade of white as he saw Gen in the corner of the room. Lara Jean tried to comfort him and rubbed his back. “Two deep breaths.”

He shook his head and took the breaths. “Thank you.” He smiled down at her.

“I told you. I got you.” She smiled. They approached the table to a familiar face. “Hi Mrs. Pike!” she smiled widely at Trevor’s mom.

“Oh, Lara Jean & my Peter.” She put up her arms in joy. “Trevor told me you might stop by.” She shimmied her shoulders giddily. “And I heard you are an item now. How special for you. You know they say the best relationships come from fruitful friendships.”

“Thank you.” She looked up at Peter who was still a bit stiff. “He’s a good one.” She placed her hand on his chest and waited until he smiled back at her. She felt how fast his heart was beating.

“Here’s our donation. We hate to drop and run but—” Peter started while putting the box on the table.

“Nonsense. You’ve got to stick around for a bit. Trevor is helping with the wheel barrel races. Go say hi. Have some popcorn. They splurged on the good machine this year.” She smiled and pointed to the far corner of the gym.

“Sure.” Lara Jean gritted her teeth in a smile. “It was so nice seeing you, Mrs. Pike.”

“You too darling.” She waved them off.

“We can still leave if you want.” Lara Jean took Peter’s hand and pulled him close as they walked through the crowded gym.

“Trevor & we’re gone.” He said calmly as they approached their friend.

“Hi guys!” Trevor perked up and gave them both hugs. “You’re so lucky you didn’t get wrapped into volunteering for this again. I love helping people but children do not respect the rules of the wheel barrel race. We can have some pretty nasty injuries if they’re not careful.”

“What are the rules? Don’t you just like lift someone’s legs and go to town?” Peter asked.

Lara Jean & Trevor burst out laughing. Lara Jean went bright red. “Do you even realize what you say?”

Peter put his face in his hands. “Dirty minds. All of you.” He said protesting through his laugh.

“I def didn’t need to know that about your love life.” Trevor dogged on his best friend.

“I hate both of you. Both. No more love. You’ll never see me again.” He theatrically put up his hands and started to walk away playfully before being stuck in his tracks. “Gen.”

“Hi, Peter.” She smugly grinned back. “I’m so happy you could make it.” She said holding a clipboard. “So sorry I couldn’t see you last night.” She flipped her perfectly manicured curls to the side.

“Yeah, sorry Gen, I convinced him to stick around and watch Christmas movies with my family.” Lara Jean wrapped her arms around him, staring down his ex-girlfriend.

“Hi. Lara Jean. Great boots.” She side eyed her shoes. “Very military chic. I feel like I should thank you for your service.”

“Peter actually got me these boots for my birthday last year.” She beamed. “And I forgot to congratulate when I saw you for a second the other night. Congrats on getting engaged. That’s so exciting. Is the lucky guy here?”

“He’s not. He’s with his family in Charleston.” She obviously faked a smile.

Lara Jean motioned the sparkly ring on her finger. “That ring is beautiful. Was the ring also one of your grandmothers? I know Chris has one of her rings. She must have been excited for you too. Her and Finn were so elated to not be the only married couple in the family. It’s so sad she’s not here until New Years Eve.”

“You know Chris. Always… charming.” She rolled her eyes. Gen hated that her cousin who was supposed to be the “problem child” ended up with her dream life. Married right out of college, successful career in Portland with a baby on the way. “Can I talk to you for a second, Peter?”

“I mean we were just going to head out, but I don’t mind.” She looked back up at Peter whose hands were placed on top of hers. “You got this.” She mouthed just enough for him to see.

He stood silent for a second. Lara Jean felt him take a deep breath and puff up his chest. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, and actually we have to get going.” He pulled Lara Jean even closer to him. “I have a special date night to get to.” He rose his eyebrows at LJ before turning back to Gen. “It was nice seeing you Gen. Congrats on everything.” He smiled and lead them out of the gym at a rapid pace.

Lara Jean looked up at him more than impressed for their entire walk out. Her stomach was filled with butterflies. He chose her over Gen, something Lara Jean never experienced before. She was used to being in Gen’s shadow for most of her life. She was so proud of Peter for standing up to her, something that had always weighed heavy on his heart. She wanted to fist pump the air for his bravery.

Once they got to the parking lot, Lara Jean stopped them and held him still. “PETER! That’s was bad ass.”

“It was? I think I blacked out.” He said coming back to life with a small laugh.

“You were wonderful, brilliant, exceptional—” She was cut off when Peter picked her up off the ground and swung her around. “PETER!” she squealed before putting her down.

“I couldn’t have done that without you.” He said with his hands resting around her waist.

“You couldn’t do a lot of things without me.” She smiled still getting her breath back. She felt pulled closer to him. Her chest rose against his and their eyes locked for a lingering moment. She saw him gently lick his lips.

“Yeah.” He replied. Lara Jean swore he was staring into her soul. In the past few days, she had started to feel connected to him in a new way. Peter always used to be her safe place, a sense of comfort & home, like a cardigan. Now she felt like she wanted to rip the sweater and every other piece of clothing off.

She waited for him to make the move. Lara Jean knew what she was feeling but also knew what their arrangement was. She couldn’t just ruin their friendship. He meant too much to her. He needed to make his feelings clear before she would act on anything.

They stood there eyes locked for a while until the heavy medal creek of the doors broke them apart. They were brought back to reality as a group of teens shuffled out of their old school. Peter stepped away from her and looked down at his shoes. “Do you wanna to do the diner or something?”

“Whatever you want.” She said switching from one foot to another before grabbing his reached-out hand.

* * *

“But that means no butter, milk or eggs. Do you know how many things have those ingredients? There is no way.” Lara Jean leaned forward in their booth.

“I still think I could do it.” He smiled back at her.

“You would never have pasta, cheese…. any of my baked goods.” She trailed off.

“You wouldn’t make me any vegan treats?”

“No. Simply to prove you wrong. I would not make you any vegan baked goods. They just feel sacrilegious. Like the baking gods would smite me down.”

“I’ve literally been the taste tester for your vegan cookies you made for boss for her birthday.” He protested.

“She has a medical condition. You just want to be an ass about this.”

“I still think I could be vegan if I really wanted to.” He dunked his fry into a side of cheese sauce, “but not today.”

She rolled her eyes and settled back into the back of the booth. The BING of Peter’s phone went off. Their eyes both went to the lit-up screen. “Gen?” she asked curiously, trying to seem cool about it.

“Yeah. Third one in an hour.” He showed her his phone.

“What does she want?”

“To talk.” He read out. “I just want to talk to catch up with one of my best friends. Don’t let her make you not able to talk to me. It’s not fair you won’t talk to me.”

“Really?” she rolled her eyes. “I just want to catch up with my best friend. Ugh. How many times does she check in on you during the year? Only when she’s alone without her fiancé. I wonder if he knows she’s doing this. I would be pissed if the person I loved was that dependent on someone else’s affection.”

He put his phone face down on the table. “What are you even supposed to say to a text like that?”

“Nothing. You stop responding. That’s the only way Gen will get the message.”

“But isn’t it kinda mean to just cut someone off like that?”

“You have given her a hundred chances to be normal & friendly and she’s blown everyone.”

“I know but…” he trailed off.

“Give me your phone.” Lara Jean put out her hand.

“What are you going to do?” He picked it up but held it back from her.

She lunged over the table and took his old iPhone out of his hands. “I’m changing her name in your contacts & deleting your current conversation.” She clicked rapidly through his phone. “There.”

“What did you change her name to?” he said trying to scroll through his contacts.

“You’ll just have to find out. Make it a little surprise.” She smiled gleefully.

Peter slid in phone into his pocket. “Wanna go for a drive or something? I’m not ready to go home yet.”

“Sounds good.” She smiled and started to grab her wallet from her bag.

“Put it away, Covey.” He said without looking up.

“Peter.” She protested.

“I can’t have everyone thinking I’m a cheap ass with my girlfriend. Absolutely not. Just smile and say thank you.”

She gave him an over exaggerated smile to please him. “THANK YOU TO MY MAGNIFICENTLY GENEROUS BOYFRIEND PETER GRANT KAVINSKY WHO PAYS FOR EVERYTHING!” she announced to the entire restaurant.

Peter stuck his tongue out at her while throwing money on the table and helped Lara Jean out of the booth. “You suck.” He threw his arm around her shoulders and waved to their favorite waitress Joan before exiting the café.

* * *

“Okay, fuck, marry, kill: Cat Lady Olivia, Threw Up on Your Shoes Katie & Wouldn’t Leave Your Apartment Raven.” She giggled swigging down another sip of the cheap red wine they had picked up from the liquor store on the way to Lookout Park a few towns away.

“Can I just kill myself?” he chuckled at his drunk best friend. They were already on their second bottle, mostly consumed by LJ since he was driving. 

“No! You have to play with me.” Lara Jean swayed back and forth basking in the warmth of flamboyantly tart cheap wine.

“Fine, I guess I would fuck Raven, marry Olivia & kill Katie.” He questioned his choices of the characters in his bad date stories.

“You’re going to kill Katie? That’s so mean. She just drank too much because she was nervous.”

“Why was she nervous? It was a third date. I was a total gentleman.”

“Because you’re hot. And third dates mean S-E-X for a lot of girls.” She poked him in the stomach.

He giggled and took a sip of his wine. He was still on his first paper cup of wine.

“Do me.” Lara Jean put hair behind her ears and smiled up at him.

“Okay.” He sat up straight and pondered for a moment. “Josh, John Ambrose, and…. Me.” He raised his eyebrow and tried to read her overly expressive drunk face.

“Well, kill Josh. Screw him. He was really mean after him and Margo broke up and then his family moved so all I think about when I think of him now is how mean he was. He was even mean to Kitty, which is a no.”

“Who are you fucking?” he asked bravely then immediately wondering if he would like the answer he was about to receive.

“John.” She said almost without thinking. His heart sank for a moment, feeling slapped in the face by rejection. “I’d fuck John because he’s good at it. Or maybe just because he was my first and all but we figured it out together.” Peter shook his head immediately regretting asking this. “But also, I’d want to fuck him because then I would never want to talk to him again.”

“Sure.” He said shaking his head. He had blocked out everything after _I’d fuck John_. She still wanted him. The plan was to help her make him jealous. His heart sank.

“But I’d marry you.” She tried to smile at him before turning away to look at the view. “I’d marry the hell out of you.” She said again under her breath.

He turned to her a bit shocked. “Because we’re friends already.” He played along still feeling a bit dejected.

Lara Jean spun around her paper cup and flung wine into the snow-covered ground. “Peter, you’re so nice and sweet and would always be there when I needed you. You’re literally perfect. Everyone is in love with you already.” She faded off

“Thanks Lara Jean.” He smiled through the ache of being put in the friend zone.

“Plus, you’re so fucking hot.” She said while staring off over the view of the city. “Like sometimes I can’t even look at you when you smile because I feel like my heart is going to fucking explode. And when you rest your big ass hands on my waist, I get so turned on, like I want to rip your clothes off right there sometimes.”

He blinked rapidly trying to figure out of his ears were deceiving him. “What?”

“I had such a crush on you in middle school, but you chose Gen because everyone chooses Gen and then I just dated John and it was good. But you’ve always been so… dreamy. Like you’re the best and I fucking love you to the death, Peter. You don’t even get how much of a unicorn you are.” The both sat silently for a moment, trading glances.

Peter was shocked. His brain ran a million miles a minute. He had harbored feelings for her for years. He noticed them when they first moved to New York City. He didn’t know if they were just comfortable with each other, or he really liked her in that way. She started dating around and he quickly realized that they were just meant to be friends. Was she thinking about him the same way he thought about her all this time?

“Shit. I’m drunk.” She giggled and looked back at him. “I think I need to go to bed.”

“Okay.” He nodded, his head still running wild. He hopped off the hood of his car and put his hands out to help Lara Jean. She grabbed them gently to steady herself. His warm hands brought a chill up her spine. He was helping her up when she slipped and fell into his arms.

“Oh god. Are you okay?” Peter asked trying to steady her now that her feet were on the damn ground.

She nodded and looked up into his dreamy green eyes. “Peter,” she paused and sniffled her nose. “Will you kiss me?”

He looked down at her. He felt his heart in his throat. Was she saying this because she felt the same way or just because she was drunk? “Not like this.”

“Peter.” She held onto his strong arms doe-eyed and longing for him.

“I can’t have you regretting this in the morning.” He pushed her away, while still balancing her. “Let me just get you home.”

She shook her head and felt tears forming in her eyes. “Okay.” She said softly and got into the car after he opened the door for her. She didn’t look or talk to him the entire ride home. Her alcohol induced haze made this all feel like a bad dream.

“Let me help you to your door.” He said as he pulled up to her dad’s house. He had already unbuckled his seat belt when she started to protest.

“I can do it myself. I’m a grown woman.” She rubbed her eyes, struggling to keep them open.

“I will not be responsible for you falling on ice and busting your head open.” He opened the door and ran over to her side. He helped her up and she stood over a foot away from him. “Just hold my arm.” He held his elbow out for her. 

“Why? You don’t even like me.” She pouted.

“If you only knew, you drunk dummy.” He shook his head and kept holding his elbow out. “Please Lara Jean. It’s cold.” He breathed out slowly to show how he could see his breath. She grabbed on and they slowly walked to her front door.

As they got up the front porch steps, Peter let go of her arm. “Keys.” He motioned with his hand. She fumbled through her purse to find her old house key, eventually finding it and showing it proudly to Peter. “Found um.” He took them and unlocked her front door.

“Do you think you can make it up to your room? Want me to help you up the steps?” he rubbed his hands together.

“I can do it.” She said staring at her best friend with her big expressive eyes.

“Okay. I’ll text you in the morning. I think this may be a bigger hangover than you think.” He smiled at her. “I forget how quickly you get red wine drunk.”

“Shut up.” She gave him her evil eye, which was more cute than criminal. “Thank you for getting me home.”

He nodded and pulled her in for a tight hug. “I love you Lara Jean. You’re the most important person in my life.” He felt her squeeze tighter and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “Sweet dreams.” He smiled and waited for her to get inside the house knowing that she wouldn't remember any of this the next morning.

Peter waited in his car until he saw her bedroom light turn off. “She deserves it to be perfect.” He whispered over and over again trying to convince himself he didn’t blow his chance with Lara Jean. He repeated it 64 times before finally arriving at his mom’s house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your sweet comments & taking the time to read the weird stories in my head.
> 
> Holiday Song Rec: Ho Ho Hopefully - The Maine


	5. Hangovers & High School Parties

“Are you up yet?” Kitty yelled from outside her door.

“Can you get me some Tylenol?” Lara Jean yelled from her bed. “I drank too much last night.”

“Fine, but you have to go to the mall with me later.”

“Bring water too.” She hollered, sitting up plush between her favorite comforter. She picked up her phone which was laying next to her in bed.

 _How’s the hangover this morning? Lunch to make it up to you?_

She smiled at her phone, not remembering most of what happened past eating fries at the diner. She texted Peter back.

_Kitty is pumping me with Tylenol now. I promised I’d go to the mall with her today._

_Sorry for anything dumb I did last night. Why did we think red wine was a good idea?_

_Also thank you for getting me home last night. My hero._

Kitty opened up her door and held her hand out with two pills and a glass of water. “What did you get up to yesterday? You disappeared with Peter all day, huh?” She sat down on the bed next to her older sister.

“Yeah.” She swallowed the pills. “We went to the toy drive, the diner & then went out to look out to the Lookout and hung out.”

“The toy drive, like Gen’s toy drive?”

“That’s the one.” She rolled her eyes at her sister.

“How did that go? I know Peter used to be so hung up on her. Kind of like you are with John only not as ‘Move to the middle of nowhere with me or we’re done.’”

“Not anymore.” She fought back a smile. _He chose me_ her brain replayed over and over again. She felt her heart grow three sizes. She wanted to go on about how big of deal it was, but that wouldn’t fit in with their fake dating narrative. She tried to hold her excitement in, but knew her face couldn’t hide anything.

“And then you ended up at Lookout Park? Like where all the high school kids go to make out? Aren’t you a little too old for that?”

“KITTY!” her mouth hung open. “Rude. We are not that old. We just wanted to go talk. Apparently, that meant me drinking too much cheap red wine.”

“Was Peter also hungover this morning?”

“No. I don’t think he drank that much. He never does when he drives.” She tried to remember more about last night but kept going blank. She just remembers him getting her home safe.

“Ah, such a mensch.” She leaned into her sister. “You can invite Peter to the mall with us if you want.”

“I think we need some Covey sister time. Just us.” She slung her arm around her sister. “Plus, I’ve been with that boy every day for what feels like years now. Let’s let him miss me.”

* * *

Peter starred at his phone for the hundredth time that day. He had drafted 50 different messages to Lara Jean. He wanted to tell her how he felt, how close they were last night to risking it all. He needed to get out of his head or he was going to go crazy.

For a moment, he thought about going to the mall on the off chance he would run into her, but that seemed too desperate. He knew she was there with her sister. He had learned not to mess with Covey girl days, they were scared and needed to mellow Lara Jean out.

He got out of his bed and walked over to his brother’s room, forgetting he left for a trip to the beach with his friends yesterday. “UGH.” He let out and threw his head back.

“You okay, honey?” his mom yelled out from downstairs. He bounded down the stairs and found her cutting veggies in the kitchen.

“Need help with anything, Mom?” he said leaning up against the counter.

“I’m all good sweetie. Just making a platter for Mrs. Pike’s birthday potluck tomorrow night. You’re going to Gabe’s tomorrow night, right? One of those famous high school style parties?”

“Reliving my glory days.” He smiled at his mom.

“You’re taking Lara Jean to this party? How is that going?”

“It’s good.” He looked down at his hands that were tapping on the table. “Really good.” He smiled thinking about how much he wanted to kiss her last night.

“It’s nice to see you so happy.” His mom went over to the fridge to get another stalk of celery. “You just seem so much more settled in yourself now that you’re with her.”

“Yeah.” He tried to smile back confidently but the looming doom of her only saying she wanted him when she was drunk lingered in his mind. He pulled his phone out again just to see if she responded to his last text. Nothing yet.

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk.” He slid his phone into his back pocket. He grabbed his jacket from the rack and went outside.

He strolled aimlessly, thinking about her. He just kept wondering if she was thinking about him too. He felt like he had memorized the curvatures of her face and knew the exact spots where she blushed more than others. He replayed her talking about his hands on her waist over and over again, aching to make her feel like that again. He was lost in a world of Lara Jean.

Before he knew it, he was on her street. Something must have pulled him there, like magic. He looked to see if Kitty’s bright blue Kia was in the driveway. It was. It would be too creepy for him to just knock on the door. He stopped as he approached the Covey’s home and looked through the picture window into the living room. He saw Lara Jean cozied up under a blanket with her nose firmly in an old paperback book. He grabbed his phone and texted her.

_Please say you’re still coming to the party at Gabe’s with me tomorrow._

He stood in the shadow of a large oak tree across the street and watched as she smiled into her phone replying to him.

_As long as no red wine is involved, I’m in._

* * *

They heard the booming bass of the hip hop song from down the street. “Well glad to know Gabe still knows how to throw a rager.” Peter smiled as he held Lara Jean’s car door open.

“I wouldn’t expect anything different.” She smiled and ran her hand through her blown out hair. Kitty had insisted on doing her hair and makeup this afternoon. Who was she to object? Her sister’s flair for the dramatics had made her a mainstay in her high school’s drama department doing out there make up looks. Tonight, she had put more makeup on Lara Jean than her sister had worn in years. Kitty said she looked like an old Hollywood it girl with her berry red lips.

Peter closed the door and grabbed her hand unconsciously. Lara Jean looked down at their interlocked hands and smiled. “Thank you again for getting me home the other night.”

“You really don’t remember anything from that night?” he questioned as they walked up the Rivera’s driveway. He looked down trying not to be memorized by her short skirt and black leather jacket.

“I remember buying wine. I remember driving up to Lookout Park and drinking a lot. But other than that, it’s kinda a wash.” She smiled. “Did I do something stupid?”

“No.” he shook his head before looking up at her. “You just made us play a really dumb game of Fuck, Marry, Kill.”

“Oh, no.” she shot her free hand over her mouth.

“You gave some very insightful answers.” He chuckled as he opened the massive front door.

“Peter, you need to tell me what I said.” She put her foot down.

“I’m bringing these answers to my grave, baby.” He snickered at her scrunched-up nose.

“I hate you so much, right now.” she searched the party for any of her old friends.

“I know. Let me go get you a drink to make up for it.” He smiled and waited for her nod before pulling her into the kitchen.

“PETER FUCKING KAVINKSY!” a brash voice yelled out. Peter and Lara Jean turned to see Gabe in all his party glory. “How CRAZY is this that everyone is here?” he ogled at his creation before meeting eyes with LJ. “LARA JEAN?! Holy shit! You look wow. How are you? What’s your deal? Are you seeing anyone?” he tied to be sly.

“She’s with me, buddy.” Peter lifted their hands up so he could see.

“Shit. No way. DUDES!” he pulled them in for a group hug. “This must be what it feels like to hear your children are getting married. I’m so happy for you.” He let them go and leaned up against the marble countertop.

“Thanks Gabe. I think that would make this incest which is weird but you know…” Lara Jean smiled. “Now, where can I get a world-famous Rivera mixed drink?” she referred to the super detailed cocktails that Gabe used to concoct during parties in high school.

“Oh girl, I can get you anything you want. There’s two bars inside & one outside. You should never be more than a whisper away from a quality libation.” He started to slur, obviously already halfway drunk.

“Thanks Gabe.” Peter said leading Lara Jean to the table filled with every kind of alcohol imaginable. His slid his hand across her back and rested them around her waist. He felt small goosebumps rise from her delicate skin. There was a pride in secretly knowing he had this power over her.

“I can’t even make sense of what’s here. Do you think you can make me that purple thing we had at that bar near that museum in Brooklyn?” she cocked her head and gave her puppy dog eyes.

“I think I remember how. I think it’s basically a hyped-up vodka cran.” He searched his mind.

“Yay!” she clapped her hands and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He looked at her quizzically. “What was that for?”

“Selling it for the public, I guess.” She giggled and watched him put together her sweet drink.

He took a small sip. “Here. See if you like it.” He held the cup for her.

“IT’S SO GOOD!” She said after taking a sip. “What are you going to have? I suggest this.”

“Whisky and something…” he paused scanning the table.

“PK! LJ!” a voice bellowed above the music. He turned to see Trevor dancing over to them.

“Hey Pike.” Peter smiled pouring his drink.

“We gotta do shots!” Trevor insisted holding a handle of lemon-flavored vodka.

“Trev, I can’t do—” Peter was cut off when Trevor pulled out some small shot glasses from his back pocket. “Where did those come from?”

“Magic.” Trevor waved around another glass before handing it to Lara Jean. “Live a little.” He smiled and poured some of the clear liquid into their glasses. “Cheers to us, the lifelong friends who continue to get better, smarter & so much fucking hotter. Cheers!”

“Cheers!” Peter and Lara Jean clinked glasses before swallowing the cold sharp liquid.

“That tastes like floor cleaner.” Lara Jean said turning around in a small circle. Peter laughed at her overreaction.

“I’m gonna stick with this.” She grabbed the drink Peter made for her and took a sip. “Much better.”

Peter leaned over to LJ, “Wanna see who’s around?” She shook her head and followed him through a busy part of the party. She thought there must have been 100 people there. It felt very high school. She grabbed Peter’s hand to not get separated from him. They walked past the fish tank and girls gave Lara Jean a second look when they saw her holding onto Peter. Past LJ would want to hide away, but current Lara Jean liked feeling like she was the special one.

They found an open spot on the steps and sat down. Peter, being the king of high school, had people coming up to say hi non-stop. Lara Jean sat their sipping her drink admiring his jawline in side profile. She wanted his handsome features to be carved into her brain. She dazed off for a moment when a girl almost tripped over her. “Oh sorry.” She said staring up at a random red head.

“Come closer.” Peter said pulling her body right next to his and swinging her legs over his. She felt her heart rate become faster. She felt like she wanted to throw out the rules and grab his face to kiss him. She needed to contain herself. Since yesterday, he was all she thought about. She searched her brain for a way to get out of these feelings. Alcohol should do the trick. She took another gulp of her drink.

“LJ!” a familiar voice roared through the party.

Lara Jean looked around the room searching for the owner of the voice when she felt her entire body radiate. “CHRIS!” she squealed, running down the stairs to meet her best friend. “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t getting in until New Years?”

“Well that was the plan, but we changed our flight so I could see your wonderous face.” Chris took Lara Jean’s face in her hands. “You look marvelous darling. Looks like Miss Kitty had a field day.”

Lara Jean laughed and looked down at Chris’s growing baby bump. “Hello my angel.” She put her hands on her stomach. “I already love you more than words, baby Roo.”

“We are not naming our child after a character in Winnie the Poo.” Chris’s husband Finn rolled his eyes while approaching.

“I’ve already started planning the baby shower with a Hundred Acre Woods theme so looks like you’re too late buddy.” Lara Jean smiled before giving Finn a hug. “I’m so happy you’re here! But also, why? You can’t drink. This party must be miserable. I’m two drinks in and I still hate parties like this.”

“We were only going to stop in for a minute. Just wanted to say hi and show my hot bod off to the masses.” She smiled and rubbed her belly. “Where is Pike? I want to say hi.”

“He’s around. Peter and I took shots with him earlier.”

“Okay, about that. My mom told me she heard that you and Peter are like together? WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?”

“Oh yeah. It’s a long story.” She rolled her eyes. “Let me help you go find people.” They started walking through the crowds to find their friends. They circled the whole house, stopping just to refill Lara Jean’s drink. They found Trevor holding court in their previous location standing on a table trying to start a new round of drinking games.

“Ladies & gentleman, boys and girls, it’s time to throw it back to our middle school days, where flip phones were king and hair straighteners were abused. IT’S SPIN THE BOTTLE TIME!” He commanded. The crowd around him cheered and assembled in a circle. Trevor jumped down. “Christine!” he rushed to give her a hug. “Why are you and your baby here? This is not a place for babies.” He leaned down and said into her belly. “Hi baby Roo. I’m gonna be your favorite uncle Trevor. UN-CLE. TREV-OR.”

“Thanks Pike.” She smiled. “I just wanted to say hi. I think we’re actually gonna head out. We’ll catch up this week though.” She gave him a quick hug before turning back to LJ. “I got to get off these feet. Maybe hang tomorrow?”

“Definitely.” LJ smiled back and gave her an extra hug. “Just text me.” She smiled as her friend and her husband disappeared into the crowd. LJ turned back, wanting to slide back into her spot next to Peter when Trevor picked her up and flung her into the circle. “TREVOR!”

“You’re playing. Now sit.” She tucked her legs under her trying not to show anything, wishing she was wearing jeans instead of a black suede skirt. She found Peter sitting across from her. She mouthed “What the fuck” to him. He smirked and shrugged back.

“Rules of the game in case anyone forgot. You spin this wine bottle, whoever it lands on you have to make out with for 10 seconds. Anything less than that will be seen as a forfeit and you have to chug your drink.”

LJ’s eyes were glued on Peter as he watched his other best friend drunkenly control the game. They watched as the bottle rotated round and round with anticipation who they would have to kiss next. The crowd hooted and hollered as random pairings sloppily kissed, creating much fanfare from the spectators now watching on.

Lara Jean and Peter were engaged in a contest to make the other person laugh first. They were making silly faces at each other, not paying attention to the shenanigans of the game.

“LARA JEAN!” Trevor yelled out as one of their old lacrosse teammate’s spin landed on her. She was broken out of her game and looked up at the boy with glasses & shaggy blonde hair.

“Oh, okay.” She looked over at Peter for reassurance, but he gave her none. She leaned into the circle and gentle kissed the man as the crowd counted down. They broke apart to cheers. She looked to Peter who was taking a deep sip of his drink. _Was he jealous?_

It was her turn to spin the bottle. She watched as it spiraled over and over again, wobbling on the dark area rug they were huddled on. The rotations slowed, feeling like time stood still. She followed the neck of the bottle up. Peter.

“Well this isn’t as fun when you’re already dating, but HEY! We love love!” Trevor yelled getting the crowd into it.

Lara Jean sat still not knowing what to do next. This wasn’t a random guy. This was Peter, the boy she had fanaticized about kissing her whole life. He nodded at her, urging her to scoot closer to him. She sat on her knees and leaned over the bottle. Peter’s face was just a few inches away from hers. They looked into each other’s eyes to see if either was daring to back out now.

A confidence rose in Peter & he hooked his hand behind the nape of her neck and closed the gap between them to only a few millimeters. She felt his heightened breath on her lips and couldn’t stand the tension anymore, crashing her lips into his. LJ felt time stop as their lips meshed. His lips were warm yet exciting. Lara Jean, already buzzed, kissed him hungrily, but Peter was going to make her work for it. Her heart raced a million miles a minute and she had to remember to keep her balance as she felt her knees get weak. She felt heat rising in her chest as she moved her hands to the sides of his face, gently tickling down his beyond perfect jawline to pull him closer to her. She felt a million fireworks going off in her stomach. Part of her couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

“NINE, TEN!” the crowd yelled and rallied.

They broke apart from the kiss, slowly. Their foreheads still pressed together as they regained their breathing. Peter was the first one to speak. “Whoa.”


	6. After the Whoa

Peter opened his eyes, mouth slightly ajar and held focus on Lara Jean’s lips. He just wanted to be back to them again. This was a new feeling. Something concrete had happened. They couldn’t hide their feelings anymore. Peter felt his pulse in his ears making his head was ring.

He exasperatedly sat back and handed the bottle over to the girl next to him and gazed at Lara Jean. She was swigging down the rest of her drink. “Gotta get another one.” She smiled at the crowd and started towards the kitchen. Peter sprung to his feet. “Me too.” He hopped over some fellow players and rushed to the bar.

Peter slid next to her. “Come here often?” he tried to joke.

Lara Jean was pouring vodka and cranberry into her glass. “So that was…”

“Yeah.” He smiled staring at LJ trying to read her emotions.

She turned to him, their chests grazed not realizing how close they were. Peter searched her face. He thought the kiss was mind-blowing, but did she? Anxiety began to rise in his stomach.

She examined Peter’s beautiful face. His smile and the slight flush in his cheeks made him look like innocent like the kid she met all those years ago. His smile felt like home. The warmth made her feel like she could take a deep breath and drop her shoulders. “You’re cheesing too hard right now.”

Peter blushed even harder. He resisted his urge to grab her and kiss her again. “Wanna go talk outside?”

She nodded and followed him out the sliding glass doors. They sat down on a lounger near a heater under a giant sycamore tree, and looked back at the party through the heat rising off the Rivera’s pool.

“How warm do you think the pool is right now?” Peter asked needing to break the tension.

“Not as hot as you want it to be. It’s 40 degrees out. Even if it’s 60 in the pool, that’s still too cold.” She took another sip of her drink. “It could be warm for a second but then be the worst decision of your life.”

“Is that supposed to be a metaphor or something?” He cocked his head and held her eye contact.

“Not purposefully.” She giggled and smirked out one side of her mouth.

“Is that how you feel about this though?” he motioned between the two of them. “Covey. We just made out in there. Are we’re gonna be all coy and NOT talk about it?”

“I wouldn’t really call that a make out.” Lara Jean furrowed her brow playfully, knowing it would drive Peter crazy to avoid the topic. Part of her did it to poke at him. Another part did it because she knew having this conversation would bring things to a new scary place. One where things could not work out. One where she could lose her favorite person.

“Fuck you.” He rolled his eyes brightly. “It was a good kiss. I’m a great kisser.”

“How do you know that, Peter? Has any girl actually told you that or are you just projecting? Are you on the Yelp for kissing?”

“You seemed to like it.” He mumbled into his drink, just loud enough for her to hear.

Lara Jean bit her lip and stared at his face in the mood lighting, focusing on the small amount of stubble growing on his jawline. She felt a new wave of butterflies rush in as the soft curvature of his face stiffened as he looked seriously at her.

“I’m going crazy not knowing how you feel.” His usual warm voice felt unsteady. She felt his eyes penetrating her soul.

Lara Jean carefully moved face close to his and let their noses skirt across each other’s. Lara Jean felt her heart skip a beat before gently pressing their lips together. It was timid for a moment before Lara Jean threw her arm around his neck, pulling him closer to her, giving him all the reassurance, he needed. He held onto her waist and rubbed his thumbs in a circular motion as he felt her part her lips, a wave of years of longing presenting itself as the kiss became more urgent, like they were making up for lost time.

Lara Jean felt all the bones from her body go to mush as Peter’s hands danced up and down her spine. The only thing keeping her alive at that moment was the power of Peter’s soft lips. It was her own personal adrenaline shot. They instinctually knew how to move together, how each other worked. Peter took a small lock of her thick black hair and swirled it between his enchanting fingers. Lara Jean giggled at the comforting yet sensual feeling.

“Why are you laughing?” Peter chuckled through the kiss.

“Because this is crazy.” She said taking one more taste of his bottom lip before pulling away.

He smiled back at her pushing their foreheads together. “There’s no one like you Covey.”

* * *

“Let me get you another one of these.” He took her glass out of her hand and got onto his feet. “I’ll be right back.” She smiled back at him with stars in her eyes. As he floated to the bar, she leaned back against the back of the lounger and looked up at the night sky. In the past hour, she felt like she had been transported to another universe. She couldn’t believe either of them had waited so long for this to happen when it felt so natural.

“Lara Jean.” She heard her name and sat up.

“John.”

“Mind if I sit?” he settled himself down next to her before waiting for a response.

“Um, you’re already sitting.” She crossed her arms across her body, wishing Peter was with her now.

“Yeah.” He tried to flash her a smile but was obviously angry. “I saw you make out with Peter in there.”

“He is my boyfriend so…”

“It fucking sucks that it’s him.” He said plainly. “I mean it’s been a few years, you were going to move on, but him? Never would have pinned that for you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” she leaned away from him in an anger rising up through her body.

“You’re too good for him, Lara Jean. He’s always been a joke. He dates a million girls. He is such a show off. You hate that. He’s not serious enough for you. He’ll be so over you in no time. I don’t get what you’re doing.”

“That is beyond rude John.” She glared at him. “Peter is courageous and thoughtful and generous and a fundamentally good-hearted person. He’s been there for me through some of the hardest times of my life. He makes me a better person from just being in his fucking orbit. If you weren’t such a dick, you’d be able to see what kind of man he is. Gentle, sweet, kind. All the things you are not being right now, John.”

John got up in a huff. “I’m just trying to look out for you. If you don’t want to listen to the advice of the person who knows you better than anyone else at this fucking party, that’s your mistake.”

“I can’t understand how this hasn’t gotten into your mind yet. You don’t get to make me feel small anymore. You need to get over that you can’t control my life. You never really could and that’s what makes you bitter about the break up. The fact I made the choice.” The alcohol running through her system gave her the courage to say the things she had been thinking for years.

“Have fun ruining your life, Lara Jean.” He scoffed, walking off. Lara Jean took a deep breath. Her head was frazzled. She felt both empowered and distraught. She searched for something to ground her when Peter came back into her view.

He was singing goofily and shimmying over to her with a drink in each hand. “Walk through fire for you. Just let me adore you.” He sang sloppily before getting close enough to see LJ’s distressed face. He bent his knees to get on her level and but both of their drinks on the small table next to them. “What’s happening? Why do you look like someone killed your cat?”

“Nothing.” She took in his musky smell and shook her head. “It’s better now that you’re here.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek before he sat down next to her.

Peter laid back on the lounger. “Come lay with me.” He patted his chest. She could tell he was almost drunk by this time. His eyes were a little hazy and his body gently swayed to the pounding music from inside the house. She smiled and placed her head down on his chest.

“Your heart is beating really fast.” She closed her eyes feeling the rhythm increase.

“It does that when I have a pretty girl on top of me.” He smirked.

She looked up at his mischievous smile and pulled his lips down to hers. She thought she could actually feel a spark as the kiss intensified. Lara Jean felt like she was levitating as Peter cupped her head in his strong hands. Usually she was not one for PDA, but being close to him was all that mattered right now. She inhaled his whisky soaked breaths and moved her hands down his chest feeling every muscle through his shirt.

“Lara Jean.” He exasperated through their kisses.

“Uh?” She started to place small kisses on his jawline, slowly making her way up to his ear.

“We need to go inside if this is-.” He tried to stifle a moan as she nibbled on his ear. She pulled away and nodded her head. She got off him and he jumped up and put out his hand for her.

She rose beside him and looked over to the bar where John Ambrose was giving her the evil eye. She grabbed onto Peter’s arm. “Third floor bathroom.” She leaned and whispered in Peter’s ear.

He looked at her with excited disbelief. The third-floor bathroom had become the spot for many notorious hook ups in high school. It had become a rite of passage to get to some sort of base in the 4 walls of the bathroom on the top floor.

Peter’s hold on her hand felt electric as they rushed up the steps and down the hallway. Peter rapturously beat on the door, waiting for some reply. He bit his lip looking at Lara Jean for a moment before flinging the door open and pulling her in behind him. He slammed the door closed and hit the lock. He starred down Lara Jean with a new lust in his eyes. She was leaned up against the vanity. He followed her outstretched legs up her body making her seem taller than she really was. She smiled back and motioned for him to come closer.

The faint beat of the music matched his heart. He slowly took steps towards her, waiting for any sign to stop. He towered in front of her with his legs on each side of hers. 

“Hi.” She tried to hide her winning smile. “You’re too tall.” She looked up at him gleaming.

He hoisted her to sit on the counter in one fluid motion. She squealed and giggled as his hands surrounded her waist. “Now were almost the same.”

Lara Jean smiled and pushed back the single curl that fell in front of his face. His face became softer in the low lighting. She traced his cheeks with her fingers before crashing her lips into his. This kiss was much more feverish than any before. Heat rose in her body as their tongues wrestled for dominance. Lara Jean’s hands searched through his delicate curls, wanting to have him encompass her entire body. She opened her legs wider so he could slide closer to her.

He stepped closer into the V between her legs. Feeling her body press against his, made him feel like lightening was racing through his veins. He was slightly drunk but was trying his best to remember every detail of this moment. He wanted to remember the sensation of her soft red lips against his skin and the glint in her eye when she knew she had complete control over him. He reached for her leather jacket and pulled at the lapels to take it off her shoulders. She shimmied it down her arms, throwing it onto the slate grey tile. She kissed down his neck before stopping where his neck met his sweater. Peter ripped it off revealing his toned chest. Lara Jean ran her fingers up his side and goosebumps covered his body. He pulled her in for another kiss. One hand cupped her face while the other was placed on the small of her back holding her steady. He heard Lara Jean let out a small moan into his mouth and felt every strand of hair on his body on full alert. “Fuck” He murmured back before going to kiss down her neck while she pulled her shirt out from being tucked into her skirt.

Peter looked at her longingly causing LJ to stop in her tracks. He slowly moved her arms up and gingerly removed her shirt revealing a lacy sky-blue bra. “Did you wear that for me?”

“Did you think this was going to happen tonight?” She playfully retorted while placing small kisses along his shoulders. Peter threw his head back for a moment and grabbed her face to kiss her again. He started to kiss down her chest. LJ held the back of his head, guiding him down. He looked up at her, making sure it was okay. Her eyes were closed, her head swung back and forth to the music. “Tell me what you want, Lara Jean.” he moaned through his kisses.

“Take it off, Peter.” She continued to guide him to her chest. He did as she commanded and slid his hand behind her to unclasp her frilly bra. She let the bra slide down her arms, revealing her breasts. Peter examined her and took a deep breath. “Woah.”

Lara Jean blushed, “If you don’t start making out with me in the next 5 seconds, I will scream.” He said reaching out for him. He laughed racing back to her. Feeling their chest against each other made Lara Jean feel like she had captured a rainbow in her stomach, pure elation. Her cells rattled in excitement.

Peter made his way down her chest. One hand caressed her breast while the other trailed up her thigh. Lara Jean felt a growing bulge at her and Peter moved together. She tried to catch her breath. All of this suddenly felt to rushed. _He’ll be over you in no time. He’ll be over you in no time. He’ll be over you in no time._ John’s words rang in her mind.

“Peter.” She hitched her breath trying to pull his face up to hers.

“Tell me what you want.” He kissed her neck hungrily.

“I can’t have sex with you in this bathroom.”

Peter pulled away from her. “Okay. I’m on your timeline.” He gave her one more kiss before stepping back to pick up their clothes off the floor. A heavy silence filled the room with a new tension that neither of them had experienced before.

Lara Jean sat on the counter, covering her chest. She watched him as he threw her shirt towards her. “I’m sorry I just got—”

“In your head. It’s fine Lara Jean.” He threw his sweater over his head. He hadn’t looked her in the eyes since she made him stop.“Do you wanna hang out or go home, I know it’s New Year’s but no pressure…” he trailed off

“I’ll just get an Uber.” She said taking her phone out of her pocket.

“No, at least let me pay for it.”

“No. You want to hang with your friends. I’ll make it home all by myself. I’m a big girl after all.” She winked at him.

He nodded back but looked a bit hazed out. “We’re gonna be okay, right?” he squinted at her. “Like I didn’t just fuck it all up with my best friend?”

“We’re all good, Peter. I promise.” Her phone binged. “My car will be here in a minute. Walk me down?” He nodded and held the door open for her. They walked through the house back into the chilly night.

“Don’t drive home okay?” she looked at him rubbing her hands together.

“I won’t.” he answered pulling her in for a hug before a silver Ford Focus pulled up beside them.

“Text me when you get home.” She said looking up at him wishing he would kiss her in that moment. “Happy New Year’s.” 

“Same.” He said releasing her from his arms. Lara Jean tried to ignore the pit forming in her stomach. “I’ll see you tomorrow for that family thing.”

She nodded and got into the car. She took a deep breath and leaned back. How had one of the most life affirming things in her life suddenly turned so sour? _Fucking John Ambrose._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so generous with your kudos & comments!   
> Sorry this took so long to post! Life & work have been a hot mess just in time for Christmas! Next one will hopefully be up soon! 
> 
> Christmas Song Rec: Blame It On The Mistletoe - Ella Henderson & AJ Mitchell


	7. Tis The Damn Season

Peter stumbled back into the house. He ran his hands through his hair. _Why did he let her go? Why did she want them to stop in the first place? Was he more into this than her? Were these feelings all imagined in his head?_ He needed a drink.

He found Gabe at the bar. “Hey man.” He smiled.

“Where’s your very hot lady?” he said pouring a dark liquor into a glass.

“She just left. Wasn’t feeling good I guess.” He popped his cheek.

“It’s not even midnight yet.”

“I know.” He poured himself a shot and took it swiftly. “It seems so unlike her though. I might have just fucked the whole thing up.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, dude. Drink with me. It’ll make you feel better.” He handed him another cup. Peter took a breath and grabbed the cup and downed its content. 

Peter walked through the party and found an open chair in the uncrowded formal living room. He got out his phone to check if he had a message from Lara Jean. Nothing yet. He starred longingly at her name wishing she was here right now. He began typing different messages then deleting them not wanting to be desperate.

“Hi there stranger.” A sultry voice came from above him.

He looked up. “Hi Gen.” He faked a smile.

“Where’s your girlfriend?”

He rolled his eyes. “She went home. Wasn’t feeling well.”

“Bailing out on New Year’s Eve. That sounds like trouble in paradise to me.”

“We’re fine Gen.” he protested. “What do you want?” the alcohol hit him & he started to slur.

“Peter,” She squeezed into the oversized chair next to him. “I miss you. We used to share everything with each other and now you won’t even respond to my texts.”

“You broke up with me.” He shook his head.

“You know I will always have a place in my heart for you, Peter. You were my first everything. I know you still love me too in a way.” She leaned closer to him.

“Gen, no.” he tried to lean away but lost his balance and leaned up against her for a moment before steadying himself away from her.

“Are you telling me you actually like her? That she is more important to you than me. After everything we’ve done. You’re pulling this shit.” Her hands gesturing wildly, like she wanted there to be a scene.

“You’re getting married. Why do you even care?” he stopped for a moment and leaned back against the back of the chair. “I love her. I love her a lot.” He mumbled under his breath.

In a jealous rage, Gen tried to grab his face to pull him closer to her. “You have never been able to stop loving me, you told me that last year. You said you always would. You can’t lie about it Peter.”

Peter pulled away with a distraught look on his face. “Why are you like this?” he questioned.

Gen dropped her hands. “Fine.” She got up. “Don’t try to text me again, asshole.” She stormed off. He huffed leaning back against the chair. _Why did he let Lara Jean go?_

He got up and walked outside. Midnight was creeping closer and he couldn’t be around his old friends kissing each other when the person he really wanted wasn’t there. He sat down on the ground under the tree where him and Lara Jean were sitting earlier. He swirled his drink and checked his phone.

_Home <3 _

A sense of relief rushed over him as he knew that she was home safe. He sloppily texted her back.

_Good My Swwwt LatsJeans_

He looked at the lock screen of his phone, a picture of the two of them from Christmas day that Kitty had taken. She looked so cozy in her big cream-colored sweater. She was leaned up against him & was wearing her bracelet with the charm he had bought her. He remembered when he came across it in a vintage store when he was trying to find something for his mom’s birthday months earlier. He saw it and knew it had to be hers. They looked so genuinely happy in the picture. _Maybe they were happier pretending then actually dating_. He threw his head against the tree.

“Where is she?” an indignant voice yelled in his direction.

He moved his head slowly. “What?” He looked up to see John Ambrose looking sour. “Oh, hi John.”

“Did you ditch her already?” he made his hands into fists, set on confronting him about Lara Jean.

Peter was too drunk to get up gracefully. He used the tree to get to stumble to his feet “What are you talking about? Lara Jean left because she wasn’t feeling good.”

“Unlikely story, Kavinsky. I know you’re just using her and will throw her away as soon as you get a chance.” He pointed at him.

He shook his head. “Why do you think that?” His eyes were closed.

“You’re such a dickhead. You do it to everyone! How many girls did you mess with in the last year? What’s the over/under? 100 or so. You’re such an asshole. I saw you with Gen in there. How could do that to Lara Jean. I knew you would screw her over. Fuck you.” He tried to egg Peter on.

“I didn’t do anything with Gen. She tried. I love LJ too much to do that. I’m not going to fight you John.” He slurred.

“Not man enough then. Scared you’re gonna lose? Who’s the top guy now, Peter?”

“I don’t think you want to do this now Johnny.” He puffed his chest while trying to keep his balance. He wasn’t going to let a person talk to him or Lara Jean like that.

“Are you too chicken to be a man for her, Kavinsky.” He shouted, drunk himself.

The words set off an alarm in Peter’s head. He dropped his cup to the ground and got close to John’s face. In a steady, almost menacing voice he spoke. “Fuck you bro. You keep saying I’m an ass but you were the one who wanted to control her life and make her move to the middle of nowhere. You’re just mad because she’s always liked me. She told me that she always had a crush on me and settled for you. I’ve always her number one. You’re just the prick that won’t let go.”

John had just grabbed at Peter’s shirt and was about to throw a punch when Trevor came rushing in. “Hey! Hey!” Trevor pulled John back from his best friend. “What the fuck is going on?”

“HE’S JUST GOING TO FUCK OVER LARA JEAN!” John yelled.

“WHAT ARE YOU EVEN ON DUDE?!” Peter matched his energy. “I honestly don’t know where you’re getting this fucking idea from. I love her. She is my best friend and the most important person in my life. Get the fuck outta here with this jealous ass shit. It’s embarrassing for you, dude.”

“YOU FUCKING LIAR!” John yelled wiggling in Trevor’s arms.

“I think it’s time for you to go.” Trevor strong armed John, almost picking him up off the ground. He turned to Peter. “You wait here.” Peter did as he was told and slid down the tree as Trevor brought John through the house.

A few minutes later, Trevor came back with a beer in each hand for both of them and sat next to Peter. “Are you okay? That was fucking madness.”

“John’s right. I messed this all up. I shouldn’t have let her go. I need to go see her.” He slurred, not able to balance as he tried to get up.

“And how do you plan to do this, drunky?”

“I’ll drive. I gotta see her.” He looked around frantically.

“No way you’re driving right now.” Trevor pulled him back down. “You’re way to drunk right now. Just sit with me.”

Peter hung his head. “She’s gonna hate me forever. This wasn’t the plan.” He began to breakdown to his lifelong pal.

“She won’t.” Trevor patted his back. “I think that girl would follow you into battle if you asked her.”

“You didn’t see her when she was leaving. She looked so mad at me. I was fine stopping. I don’t know what got in her head. I can never read her.” He was on the edge of tears. Usually Peter was not a crier, but the whisky running through his veins had different plans. “I mess everything up.”

“It’s still new dude. You’ve been dating for what a month. Of course, you’re going to have growing pains. And I don’t know what your plan is, but when has planning ever really worked out for us. We’ve always been take it how it comes guys. You just need to fucking breathe. You’re too drunk to try to make up right now.”

They heard the final countdown start from inside the house. “10...9...8...”

“I wish Lara Jean was here.” Peter rubbed his face.

Trevor pulled him in for a bro hug. “It’s okay, buddy. It’s okay.”

* * *

Lara Jean spent the rest of the night waiting for a text from Peter. She sat in her room, legs pulled into her body, nervous about what he was doing.

She thought about how she left. She had to get out of there. She was scared. She knew if it went any further, they would never be able to come back from that. She knew he had some sort of feelings for her, but John’s words still were in the front of her brain. She never though Peter would hurt her, but that was only because real love feelings were ever involved. 

Her mind went wild thinking about what was happening at the party without her. _What was he doing? Was he mad she made him stop? Was he making out with another girl at midnight?_ She tried to shake it out of her head. She laid down, wide awake for hours waiting for a sign from him to ease her mind.

* * *

The next morning LJ checked her phone again. Still nothing. She had barely slept last night. She kept getting up to check on him. As much as she was freaking out about the whole situation, she kept thinking about the way she felt from Peter’s touch. The opposing forces drove her mad. She leaned her head back against her tufted headboard. Why was this bothering her so much? She read his drunken jumble of words over again & tried to compose a text but threw her phone at her bed after getting overwhelmed for how much she felt for him.

After a moment sitting in her feelings, she reached over to grab her phone. She decided to text Trevor. She thought if Peter had done something wrong, it would be easier coming from him than Peter himself.

_Morning Pike! Did Peter get home okay? He never texted._

Trevor responded almost immediately.

_Happy New Year LJ! We got too drunk and crashed at Gabe’s. He’s on the couch sleeping now. Want me to wake him up?_

She let out a sigh of relief.

_Let him sleep. Just have him call me when he’s alive. Thank you for taking care of him._

She sat back in her bed and tried to do the breathing exercises her therapist had taught her to calm her anxiety. She needed to see him again. She needed to sure up how she felt. She needed to be just with him, none of John Ambrose’s words running through her head, no alcohol clouding their judgements. She longed to look into his green eyes and feel his warmth again.

Just a few more hours until he would be over for the Covey’s big dinner with their Korean side of the family. She’d spend all day dreaming about sneaking away with him and everything being at peace again.

* * *

The light from the sliding glass door shined in his eyes waking him up from his heavy slumber. He rubbed his eyes and immediately felt his head throb. He looked down his body and immediately recognized the white leather of Gabe’s couches. He saw two figures sitting in the open kitchen. “Did I die last night?”

“Close to it.” Gabe responded taking a cup of coffee to his friend. “Here.”

“Thanks.” He took the coffee and tried to blink himself to life. “How’d last night go?”

“For us, fine. For you, not so much. You spent half the night moaning over Lara Jean.” Trevor jumped over the couch, sitting near his best friend. “You should text her by the way. She sent me a million messages checking on you this morning.”

“Did I... fight… John Ambrose last night?” Peter scratched his head.

“Almost.” Trevor smiled. “He was about to punch you in the face, but I pulled him away.”

“Oh.” He thought for a moment. “Do you think he said anything to Lara Jean? Like something bad about me? Like that was the reason she left?”

“He was giving you death glares all night. It wouldn’t be impossible.” Gabe shrugged.

“Fuck. She fucking hates me then. She just trusts what John says. Like Bible level. She fucking hates me now. SHIT.” He closed his eyes, wanting this all to be a bad dream.

“When are you supposed to see her next?” Trevor asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“Today. I’m supposed to go to this family thing afternoon at her house. What if the Coveys hate me too?”

“Bring flowers and apologize for whatever is weird. Lara Jean is a girl who just needs you to show up.” Trevor tried to comfort him.

“Agreed.” Gabe smiled. “Now, who wants to soak up the alcohol with very greasy bagel sandwiches?”

Peter rubbed his head as his friends scurried back to the kitchen. If this pounding headache would just go away, he could start to make things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We stan gentle giant drunk Peter in this house!  
> Your lovely comments have meant the world to me!  
> Next Chapter is coming on Wednesday! 
> 
> Christmas Song Rec: Christmas Party -Trella


	8. Coffee Chat Causing Chaos

The bell quietly rang as Peter walked into their local coffee shop. He ordered his latte, a bouquet of flowers nestled in his elbows. His hangover had subsided but the overwhelming feeling like he messed everything up hung over him like a storm cloud. He leaned on his coffee addiction to get him through his anxiety.

He stood to the side, waiting for his drink, listening to the indie pop song that sounded like the background of a teen comedy. He adjusted the flower in his arms. He had gotten Lara Jean’s favorites, bright coral peonies. He tapped his foot anxiously.

“Hi Peter.” She approached him bashfully.

“Hi Gen.” he faked a smile.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry about last night.” She bit her lip and looked down.

“If I remember, I think you made your feelings very clear.” He said looking ahead.

“I just… Can we sit and talk for a second?”

“I have a latte for Peter & a green tea for Gen.” the barista called out. Peter looked over at her. She looked out of her ordinary almost too put together look. Her puppy dog eyes got him every time. He looked down at his watch. He had a few minutes to spare. As much as he resented Gen, he knew she needed him in this moment. He looked down at his watch. “Two minutes.”

She shook her head, grabbed her drink from the counter and walked with Peter over to a small table in the window of the café. Peter placed the flowers on the table gingerly, making sure to not ruin any of their delicate petals. “Talk.” He took a sip of his warm drink.

“I really want to say I’m sorry about freaking out at you last night. It wasn’t cool. I should have respected you and your relationship, even if it is with Lara Jean.”

He rolled his eyes. “Thank you. I guess.” He breathed out.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard or not, but my parents are getting divorced.”

“Oh, no. I didn’t.”

“Yeah, so it’s kinda messed me up in the head. My dad was cheating on my mom with someone who’s basically our age. It’s freaking creepy. She’s only 2 years older than us. We could have gone to high school at the same time.” She winced.

Peter’s heart felt for her. Gen’s parents were never perfect, always arguing and knit-picking about something, but this was another level. “Wow.”

“Then when Blake proposed, I just went along with it because it seemed like everyone needed something to root for.” She picked at the sleeve of her tea. “I love him and all but now I’m just wondering if that’s enough.”

“That’s a lot to put on your own shoulders.”

“I guess. I just don’t know if I can feel secure in anything anymore. Like if my parents could so easily throw it away, then what is to make Blake from doing the same thing?”

“I mean, I don’t know Blake but I don’t think you’d put up with someone who would do that.”

“Blake is really nice. He’s a problem solver & really protective of me. But, he keeps a lot of his feelings inside. It’s hard to read him sometimes. I always knew what was going on in your head. I think that’s why I felt so safe in our relationship.”

“I never knew what you were thinking. I think you knew that too.”

She smiled. “I did.”

“And you took full advantage of it.” He watched confusion rush over her face. “You were the queen at using people’s emotions against them, Gen. You knew just what to say to make me not angry at you even after you did something shitty. You knew exactly what to say when you wanted to hurt me. I think you have that ability with most people. It’s like your superpower.”

“I sound horrible.” She took a sip of her drink. “Why would anyone ever put up with that?”

“Love.” Peter shrugged. “You ignore a lot of things when you love somebody.” 

“I’m sorry.” She looked down. “I know I can’t really make it up to you now, but ya know.”

“It’s okay.” He took a sip of his drink. “Years of excessive dating & monthly wine breakdowns helped.”

“And Lara Jean, I’m sure.” She smiled coyly.

His cheeks blushed red. “Who do you think the wine breakdowns were with?” he laughed.

“You seem happy. Less heavy, if that makes sense, than when I saw you at Christmas last year.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and smiled at him.

“Stuff is good. Did I tell you I got that promotion I was going on and on about last year?”

“Congratulations! That’s amazing Peter. I saw on Instagram that you got that you got that digital partnership with Nike. Was that what pushed you over the edge?” She leaned against her perched elbow on the table.

“Oh, yeah… it actually was. Did you remember my teammate Ryan from UVA?” he waited for Gen to shake his head. “He works there and got me to the right people. I thought I was about to get fired if I didn’t get that deal going, so he kinda saved my ass.”

“Wait, Ryan who broke his nose from landing on keg while trying to do a keg stand is a functional adult? Like with a job?”

“And three kids.” Peter smiled remembering the happy times with Gen. The two former loves caught each other up on life & their friends and family. Time flew by as they caught up, building a foundation of friendship again. Peter took the last sip of his latte and looked outside to see the sun was already set.

“FUCK.” He felt for his phone in his pocket and looked at the time. “I’m so late. Lara Jean is going to kill me.” He picked up the flowers, flinging them into his arms and running out the coffee shop.

* * *

Lara Jean checked her phone again. No call. No message. She took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves and anger.

Her entire Korean side of the family had ascended on the Covey household. Every seat in the house was filled with an aunt, uncle, or cousin. Dr. Covey wanted to keep his daughters connection to their mother’s side of the family so this New Year’s dinner became a tradition. Her dad and Trina were holding court in the kitchen near the picked through trays of food. Kitty was entertaining the little kids in the foyer. Lara Jean walked back into the family room and was immediately met with questions about her new boyfriend and where he was. She tried to smile through them, but kept looking to the door, hoping he would walk through at any moment.

She heard a beep on her phone and opened the message immediately. It was from Chris.

_Saw this in the back of someone’s Insta. Thought you should know._

The picture showed Peter and Gen settled in at the table, leaning into each other. Peter’s eyes were crinkled like he was laughing. Gen’s cheeks were slightly blushed. Her doe eyes were in full force. The flowers popped out, peonies, her favorite. She felt her heart drop. _What had happened last night at the party_? She knew Gen tried to get Peter alone before. Did she succeed last night? She felt her heart rate increase, making her even more anxious.

Lara Jean slid into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. Wine would calm her down. Trina leaned over. “You okay babe?”

“I’m fine. I just thought Peter would be here by now.” She shrugged. “I just got sent a picture and now I’m just…yeah.” She tapped her foot.

“Did anything happen last night?” Trina asked.

“It was going well. Then I left cause… I left. And now I just don’t know where I stand.”

“You invited him tonight?” Trina poured herself a glass.

“Yeah. I told him to get here about an hour ago.” She turned to face the rest of her house. “I don’t know if I should be more mad or more nervous.”

“I’m sure there is a reason he’s not here. He would not just not show up for you.”

She took another sip of her wine. “Ugh. This sucks” She looked at her phone again. Still nothing.

* * *

Peter peaked through the door, flowers in his hand, looking nervous as he entered the crowded house.

“Hey Peter.” Kitty hugged him as he walked into the house. “Little late there pal.”

“I know.” He said taking off his coat and throwing it on the front bench. “How mad is she?”

“Woof.” She rolled her eyes. Peter turned back to the party when he heard the clack of Lara Jean’s boots on the wood floor. He smiled and pushed the hair out of his face. “Hi.” He leaned down to kiss her and was met with her cheek. He could see Lara Jean holding in her frustration.

He held the flowers out for her. “These are for you. I know they’re your favorites.”

She took the flowers and looked down at them. She wanted to burst out into tears but tried to keep it together. “Thank you.” She said flatly. “Everyone has been waiting to meet you.” She turned into the kitchen. He followed her like a duckling.

“I’m so sorry. I just lost track of time. I feel like shit for it.” He whispered in her ear from behind her.

“Did you tell Gen I said hi?” she turned to him with a snide smile.

“What? How did you know? We just had coffee.” He panicked.

“I can’t deal with this right now.” She put the flowers down to see her extended family interested in her supposed boyfriend. “Just put on the charm and act like we’re fine.” She gritted her teeth and lead Peter into the room with her relatives. “Everyone, this is Peter, my boyfriend.” She patted him on the back roughly.

“Isn’t he handsome?!” her great aunt smiled and motioned for him to come sit next to her. “Dear, how long have you known our Lara Jean? Tell me all about how you met.”

Peter looked up at LJ lovingly before starting. “We’ve actually known each other since middle school. I grew up a few streets away actually. We were always great friends. We all went our separate ways during college, like most people do, but we ended up moving to New York at the same time and reconnecting. Now we actually work for the same company.” He smiled and looked to Lara Jean to gauge how he was doing. She wasn’t even looking at him.

“And when did you start dating? I know she was with that nice John boy for a while.”

 _Fuck John_. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “We’ve been dating for just a few months, but Lara Jean and I have been inseparable for years now. I’ve felt like part of the family for a while now.”

“That is so nice.” The elder Covey put her hands over his. “Don’t tell anyone else, but Lara Jean has always been one of my favorites. It’s just so hard not to love her.”

Peter chuckled. “I’ve been there.” He caught Lara Jean’s eyes and smiled widely. He watched her take a deep breath before rubbing her face and going back into the kitchen. Shit. He wanted to follow her but LJ’s old auntie held him hostage asking questions about his family, job, and how many children he planned to have. He tried to search the room for any life saver but none came. Not that he deserved any at this moment.

* * *

Her family was gone. She walked into her room, threw off her chunky sweater, and plopped down on the bed. Her mind finally stopped running wild. Peter had upheld the deal and attended her family functions. She left him with a less than enthusiastic hug and a “We’ll talk.”

She felt stupid for believing him about being over Gen, for getting so excited about him choosing her. All he really chose was to not look desperate in one public moment. She thought about how she stood up to John for him just the night before. Was John right about all of this all along? She laid with her arms crossed over her head and listened to the faint jazz music her dad and Trina were listening to downstairs.

She broke out of her haze when a knocking sound coming from the window. She lifted her head to see Peter smiling at her from outside. She got up and cracked the window. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t wait to talk to you.” Peter tried to make her smile. “Please.”

She wrinkled her nose and paused for a second before opening the rest of the window. He climbed in and stood near the window. “I like what they’ve done to the place.” He tried to cut the tension.

Lara Jean sat down on the edge of her bed. “Peter.” She looked like she was about to cry.

“Hey, hey, hey.” He got on his knees in front of her. “I’m here. Let me explain everything.” He begged. She shook her head and he started.

“When you left last night, all I did was get a dumb amount of drunk and miss you because I hate doing anything without you. If this whole thing was to make people jealous, it worked because John tried to fight me last night. I don’t remember much other than almost getting punched in the face and Trevor pulling him away. I know he talked to you and got in your head. You gotta believe that it’s not true. You know me better than anyone. I just wanted to be with you, Lara Jean. I promise.” He tucked a rouge strand of hair behind her ear, trying to slyly get close to her.

“But you were with Gen before here.” She sucked her cheek.

“Not intentionally. I shouldn’t have given her the time of day. I had gotten you flowers and ran to get a coffee because of how bad my hangover was this morning and there she was. She was apologizing for being a bitch and then we started catching up and I just lost track of time. I have zero excuses other than me being a dick. I am so sorry Lara Jean.”

“Well then it looks like you got what you wanted.” She said coldly.

“What do you mean?” he tried to search her eyes for the love that was pulsing through both of them pervious night. He felt his heart in his throat.

“You agreed to this dumb contract to make her jealous. I think we have achieved that goal, Peter.”

He fell back on his butt. _That’s what she thought this was still about?_ “Lara Jean.” He got up to his feet. “After everything that happened last night? Did it not mean anything?” his arms moved wildly.

“One night of indiscretion, I guess.” She sniffled and felt her own heart breaking. She wanted this to be different. She wanted tonight to be a joyous reunion. They would run into each other’s arms and just know. But between the picture and him barely showing up for her, she couldn’t bring herself to indulge in her romantic fantasies that lately all centered around him.

Peter stepped away from her, looking completely defeated. “Oh,” was all he could muster for the moment. He had a sneaking suspicion she didn’t really believe that. She wouldn’t have connected with him the way they had last night if she didn’t feel something. He knew her too well. Why was she set on pushing him away? He looked down at his muddy shoes from climbing through her garden and tried to catch his breath from the wind being knocked out of his body by her sucker punch to the heart.

LJ rubbed her face, trying to wipe away any signs of being upset. “Good talk.” She couldn’t bear to look at him. “I guess I’ll just see you at the reunion tomorrow then.”

He scoffed. Who cares about the fucking reunion right now?! “I’ll pick you up at 8.” He started walking back towards the window and faked a smile before he ducked his head out the window and walked back to his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everybody! What are your favorite holiday traditions? Mine is usually going out to see whatever musical comes out on Christmas night. Damn you, COVID. 
> 
> I wanted to post one more chapter before the holidays!  
> Writing this story had made me so happy & has been the only thing getting me into the holiday season. 
> 
> See y'all after Christmas for the 2-part finale!


	9. The Reunion - Part 1

He stood in the doorway and looked in the mirror over the hallway table. He adjusted his tie for the 10th time this night. Kitty approached him with two shots in her hand. “Will this calm you the fuck down?” she put one out to him.

He paused for a moment before clinking the small glasses with her and taking it down. “Thanks.” All he thought about today was how horribly last night had gone. He wished he had called her on pushing him away. He wished he would have kissed her and made everything right. He wished he had just showed up on time.

“Are you still facing her wrath for showing up late? Has she gotten over it yet?” Kitty questioned.

“I don’t know. He ran his hand through his hair. “She may never forgive me.” He shrugged.

“You two are so fucking dramatic. You were an hour late to a dinner, you didn’t kill a bus full of children, apologize and make out. It’s really not that hard.” Kitty rolled her eyes.

Peter tried to laugh but couldn’t get the knot out of his stomach. He knew what she was actually upset about. He heard the clap of Lara Jean’s heels. She came down the stairs in a slinky garnet silk dress with black & silver accessories. Peter gazed up at her absolutely mesmerized. “Whoa.” was the only word able to escape his mouth.

“Thank you.” She said barely looking at him. “You look very handsome yourself.” She smiled over to Kitty. “Does my hair look alright or do you think I need another pin?” she fidgeted with her loose up do.

“One more pin never hurt anyone. I’ll grab it.” Kitty ran down the hall to the bathroom.

Peter waited until Kitty was out of ear shot. “I just wanted to say how sorry I am again, Lara Jean.”

Lara Jean turned to him and pursed her nude colored lips together. “It’s fine, Peter.”

“See, you’re saying that, but I don’t think you actually mean it becaus—”

“Here!” Kitty came in smiling. Lara Jean turned around and Kitty stuck the pin in strategically. “Your hair is good to go.” She waited for her sister to look back at her. “Let me get a picture of you two. You look like you’re about to walk the red carpet or something.” She grabbed her phone from her back pocket and held it up. “Get close together, you love birds.” She smiled.

Peter looked at her for any assurance but just saw her taking a deep breath. He stepped towards her put his arm around her waist. He felt her breath hitch as he rested his hand just above his hip bone. He hoped it signaled to her how much he knew about her, how much he cared. He saw her roll her shoulders back and plaster on a smile. He hated this. He hated that he made her hate him. Kitty snapped the photos. “Honestly, stunning.” She clicked a few buttons on her phone. “Sent it to both of you.” She smiled.

“I guess we should get going, then.” Lara Jean grabbed her black leather jacket from rack near the door.

Peter nodded. “See you later Kitty Cat.” He opened the door for Lara Jean as they made their way to the car. He rushed to open the door for her. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” She said plainly. He shut the door after she got in and ran around to his side. He got in the car and immediately turned the heat on high for warmth.

“Is this okay? I put it on high because I know you’re always cold.” He pulled out of the driveway and started down the quiet streets.

“It’s all fine, Peter. Thank you.” She faked a smile.

“You gotta stop doing that.” He squeezed on the steering wheel.

“What am I doing which isn’t living up to your standard?” she sharply snarked.

“Lying about it all being okay. We’re not okay.”

“You’re right. We’re not, but I’m not going to fight with you about it right now.”

“Tell me what’s actually bothering you.” He pleaded. “Please, LJ.”

“You couldn’t even just show up for me.” She looked down. “I went to everything you asked me to and stood up for you and you don’t give a shit.”

“I did show up. I was late, but I showed and you cast it off. I don’t get how you push me away after everything we’ve been through. I wasn’t the one who ran away.” He felt his jaw clench

She breathed in sharply. “RAN AWAY?! You’re mad at me because I didn’t have sex with you. Fucking asshole.”

“How is that how your brain works? I don’t care that we didn’t have sex. I cared that you just left me there alone. I care that you won’t fucking talk to me about this.”

“Do you think I’m dumb. Within like 18 hours of me leaving, you’re hanging out with Gen again. Please do not try to tell me nothing happened at the party. Give me some fucking credit, Peter.”

“I cannot understand why you can’t trust me on this.” He stifled back the tears welling in his eyes. Why wouldn’t she believe him? He would do anything to just know what was holding her back.

They sat silently for the remainder of the car ride.

* * *

They walked into the grand hotel where the reunion was being held hand in hand. Lara Jean stood slightly behind him. This was much more his speed than hers. He squeezed her hand knowing that she would be uncomfortable. She had to fight back a smile. Former classmates filled the ballroom of the swanky establishment. Peter was immediately met with cheerful greetings from every person he ever met, which made Lara Jean’s stomach flip. She was just trying to hold it together.

Lara Jean had waffled all day about bailing on the reunion. She thought about playing sick or saying she had a story deadline due ASAP, but she knew Peter would call her on it. She knew the right thing to do was to go, fake it, and forget this thing with Peter ever happened.

“Kavinsky & Covey!” Trevor approached the couple with a small shimmy in his shoulders. “How are you doing?” 

“We’re fine, Trev. I love this look you have going on.” Lara Jean motioned to his silver blazer.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to hang out on New Year’s Eve, Lara Jean. You ran away before midnight and I had to pick up the pieces for this one.” He pointed at Peter.

_RAN AWAY?_ Lara Jean shot Peter a death stare and dropped his hand. He wouldn’t have used that term unless Peter told him. This was supposed to stay between them. A vengeful anger rose up in her chest. “I’m going to get a drink.” She rolled her eyes, leaving the boys alone.

“Was it something I said?” Trevor looked concerned. “I should go apologize.”

“It’s not you.” Peter put his hands in his pocket. “Last night didn’t go as planned. Now I think I actually fucked it up for good.”

“Well don’t just stand there. Go after her.” Trevor urged.

“But, what if she’s better off without me?” he hung his head low.

“Dude, if you love her, you have to go tell her. Don’t let her slip away just because you’re too scared to do something about it.” Trevor took a sip of his drink. “Listen dude, that girl loves you. She just looked like she was going to murder you, but the other day, I saw she looked at you at the party. It was like the whole world didn’t matter and it was just the two of you. That’s rare, my man.” He pat his friend on the back and continued into the party where the DJ had just started playing hits from their youth.

“I gotta find her.” He looked both ways and scrambled for which direction to go.

* * *

Lara Jean approached the bar and waited for the supremely overwhelmed bartender to come her way. She looked down at her phone. A message from Chris saying she was a few minutes away.

She saw him approaching. John wore a dark blue blazer with black fitted pants and the pointy shoes that a model would wear. “Hey, stranger.” He smiled.

“John, I can’t do this right now.” She looked forward.

“Wait, why are you so upset?” he put his hand on hers.

“John.” She said quietly, not moving her hand.

“Come with me.” His face softened. “Let’s go talk.” She nodded and followed him through the winding halls of the hotel to a glass observatory. The hotel was nestled on a cliffside. In the daytime, Lara Jean was sure you could see for miles out the windows. Right now, the stars were the only thing lighting up the room.

“This is phenomenally gorgeous. I read about this hotel. They built it in the 30s and the design & metal work of the observatory was supposed to mimic art deco in New York.” John said as Lara Jean marveled up at the stars.

“They achieved their goals.” She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. She felt horrible after the conversation in the car. She wanted to believe him but every time she tried to let her walls down, something went wrong.

“Penny for your thoughts?” John’s eyes were searching her body.

Lara Jean looked over at him and crossed her arms. She walked over to a fountain in the middle of the room and sat on the side. She pondered for a minute. “Did I always push everyone I love away?”

John slowly walked to sit next to her. He turned his whole body to her. “What do you mean?”

She sighed. “I pushed you away. When you suggested something I didn’t like, I ran.”

“I think you just had different priorities at the time.” He said sweetly. “I don’t think it’s something you need to beat yourself up over.”

“But, I’m doing it to Peter now. The moment I really felt close, I ran away like an idiot. I’m sabotaging myself to be alone forever.”

“You don’t have to be.” John looked deeply in her eyes. “Lara Jean. I still love you.”

She sat in silent shock for a moment. “What?”

“I love you. I have never stopped loving you.”

“John, stop.” She shook her head.

“We were perfect together. We can be perfect again. Just ditch Peter and say you’ll be with me.” He started to lean in.

“John. Why are you doing this now?” she got up and began to pace. Her mind ran a thousand miles a minute. She almost felt faint. This was how he manipulated her. He would attack when she was at her weakest and make it seem like he was her savior.

“Lara Jean,” He rose to his feet and pulled her in to kiss him. Their lips crashed into each other for a moment before Lara Jean pulled away, slapped him and stepped back. “Oh my gosh.” She put her hands over the mouth.

“Fuck.” John held the side of his face.

“You don’t get to do that anymore.” She yelled out. “You’ve fucked with my mind too many times. You are so fucking manipulative and I don’t even think you realize it, which is honestly concerning.” She looked around trying to ground herself but she was off. “You saying so much shit about Peter and letting it get in my head was the dumbest thing I’ve done in a long time. I’ve always wanted to believe you because you were so good to me for so long, but really you’ve been making my life so shitty.” She felt like she was levitating getting this all out.

“I was telling you the truth about Peter and you just don’t want to accept it. He’s fucking lying to you and will fuck you over.” John sneered.

She stood for a moment. “I trust him. He would never do something to actually hurt me. I can be so mad at him, but I think… I don’t care that he hung out with Gen, or got drunk at the party and almost fought you.” She stared down at her bracelet and saw the book charm he gave her. “I think I was just scared and using those as an excuse because… I love him.” She blinked wildly. This was the first time she said it out loud. “I love Peter.”

She looked over at John who was still holding his face. “I hope one day you won’t need to control someone for you to love them.” Her face broke out into a smile. “I’ve got to go find Peter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cue Need to Find You from Camp Rock* 
> 
> I've really loved writing the end of this story & can't wait to share the ending with you!   
> Thank you so much for your lovely comments on this story! It makes me beyond happy! 
> 
> Part 2 of the Finale is out tomorrow!


	10. The Reunion - Part 2

A Taylor Swift beat enraptured the banquet room. She had ran as fast as she could in her strappy heels back to the reunion. Lara Jean stood in the entry way, searching the room for him. She got on her tippy toes thinking that the extra half inch would make him appear.

She power walked past the sweet smells of the table full of finger foods and the long line for the photo booth, shooting smiles at anyone who looked her way. She kept searching. She needed to tell him how she felt in this instant before she got too in her head about it.

“LJ!” a familiar voice yelled from behind her. She turned around to see Chris and Finn waving back at her.

She ran over to them. “Hi. Have you seen Peter?” she said frantically.

“Slow down, smoke show.” Chris laughed. “I haven’t seen anyone yet. Why are you a jumping bean right now?”

“I need to find Peter.” She said breathing heavily. The whirlwind she had created from rushing back from John was finally catching up to her.

“Didn’t you come here with him?” Finn asked rubbing Chris’s shoulders.

“Yes, but we were in a fight, and John Ambrose tried to kiss me, and then I realized that I love Peter, and I need to tell him right now or I’m going to explode.”

“Have you actually told him that before?” her best friend questioned while rubbing her growing belly.

“No. That’s why I need to find him.” She said anxiously.

“Wait, can we circle back to the John Ambrose tried to kiss me thing?”

“I was at the bar, angry at Peter. We went to talk and it happened. I think I might have slapped him.” She cocked her head. “Honestly as soon as he tried, my brain just thought about Peter and wishing it was him kissing me in a very beautiful observatory.”

“There’s an observatory here?” Chris looked at her doting husband impressed.

“Not the point Christine!” she shook her head. “Help me find him.”

“You go this way, I’ll check the bar.” Chris grabbed Finn’s hand and lead him to a different part of the room.

Lara Jean took off to the back of the room. He wasn’t at the table where all his old lacrosse friends or gawking at the boards of photos from the yearbooks with kids from Green Club. She looked by the bathrooms. Not there.

She was getting frazzled when she saw Gen coming towards her. “Hi.” She stuttered.

“Hi Lara Jean.” They stood their awkwardly for a moment. “I really like your dress. The color looks great on you.”

“Thank you.” She smiled, still in constant motion looking for Peter. “Have… have you seen Peter?” she asked immediately regretting asking it.

“Oh, no. I haven’t seen him. I actually wanted to apologize to you for being a bitch, mostly about him.”

“Ok…” Lara Jean hesitated.

“I’ve just been going through some stuff and was trying to lean on him, but I didn’t respect your boundaries as his girlfriend and I’m genuinely sorry. He told me you left the party early and I was stupid and tried to… whatever, but he would have none of it. I just wanted you to know that.”

Lara Jean shook her head and felt a relief wash over her. Her heart swelled. She needed to find her sweet boy now.

Gen continued. “You make him so much better. When he talks about you, he glows. I kinda think you may be perfect for each other.”

“Thanks Gen.” Lara Jean smiled.

“Just be good to each other, okay?” Gen smiled back and reached out her hand to Lara Jean. Lara Jean took her hand for a moment & nodded. If she didn’t love him before, Gen revealing what really happened put it over the edge. She felt her whole body buzz in anticipation if only she could find him.

* * *

Peter rushed around the hotel, checking every nook and cranny for Lara Jean. He knew she went to the bar before but she was nowhere to be found.

He searched down the never ending hallways leading to dead end after dead end. He went out a large door and found himself back outside. The cold breeze hit his face, making him squint as he high tailed it around the building. “Fuck.”

When he got to the front he found Trevor at the entrance, entertaining some lovely ladies that they used to go to school with. “Did you find her?” his best friend asked.

“No.” he shook his head. “I got lost and went out a door in the back. God, it’s fucking cold out.” He rubbed his arms.

“Everyone is in the main room now, I think. They made an announcement that the presentation stuff is starting soon.” He offered.

“Thanks man.” He shot him a smile and made his way inside the crowded room. It was the same room they once had prom in all those years ago. The flood of people and Lara Jean’s short stature made her almost impossible to find in the sea of classmates.

“PETER!” Chris yelled out over their former class president’s toast.

He turned to her. “Chris. Have you seen Lara Jean? I’ve been looking for her everywhere.” He said hugging his friend.

“She’s looking for you. We split up to find you… we never did come up with a meeting place though.” She rubbed her belly. “Sorry, pregnancy brain.”

A smile spread across his face. It had to be a good thing if she was looking for him, right? “There’s too many people in here. Ugh.” He let out. “I need to see her. Which direction did she go?”

“Towards the back” Chris yelled as the audience broke out into applause.

“Who wants to see what the prom king is up to now?!” the preppy former class president asked from the stage to a round of cheers. “Peter Kavinsky. Come on UP!” she roared into the microphone. Without warning, Peter was pushed through the crowd onto the stage. The bright lights hit his eyes. He put a hand up until his sight adjusted. He searched the crowd for her.

“So Peter, we know you’re a very successful digital sales rep in New York, but what else are you up to? I think the ladies would like to know.” She winked at the crowd to a mixed reaction.

“Oh, I’m fine.” His head swiveled trying to find her. “Has anyone seen Lara Jean Covey?” he said into the mic for their entire graduating class to hear.

His heart beat out of his chest as he waited a moment for anyone to say anything. Crickets. “Well this is awk—” Peter grabbed the microphone from her.

“Lara Jean, if you can hear me. I’m sorry.” He continued to scan for her in the crowd. “I’m sorry we started it this way. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the love story you deserved. I’m sorry I didn’t show up. I’m such an idiot. But I guess love makes you do stupid things, and I love you Lara Jean. I’ve loved you for a long time now and have just been too scared to admit it.” He heard rustling coming from inside the crowd. 

“I knew I loved you from that day 2 years ago at that coffee shop you dragged me to in Little Italy. We were on weekend 5 of your best cookie hunt and you were so passionate about the crumb structure of the cookie from the bakery we had just been to a few blocks over. That day we talked about all the books you wanted to write and places you wanted to see one day. You tipped like 120% on a four dollar coffee order and you told me you believed in me even when no one else did. You call me on my shit and make me laugh harder than anyone I’ve ever met. And I can’t believe how lucky I am that my best friend has turned into the love of my life.” He searched around and saw his friend’s faces almost in tears, but still couldn’t see Lara Jean.

Eventually the crowd parted like the Red Sea. He found Lara Jean standing in the middle. He jumped off the stage and went to her. “Hi.” He said nervously.

“Hi.” She sniffled, obviously emotional. “Peter—”

He started nervously. “I know public displays are usually not your thing, but I could not find you and—”

Lara Jean pulled him by the neck for a romantic kiss. They felt the world wash away as the crowd cheered behind them. Her hands traced through his hair as she yearned to be closer to him. She forgot how magical his touch felt on her body. His hands wrapped around her back and he lifted her into the air. She giggled through the kiss and he put her down. His smile took over his entire face and made Lara Jean’s hearts do summersaults.

“Peter.” She looked up at him lovingly.

“Yeah.” He looked down at her, still slightly breathless.

“I love you too.” She couldn’t contain her smile.

“You do?” his eyes went almost as wide as his smile. He kissed her again and the crowd cheered.

* * *

“TO LOVE!” Trevor yelled out to their group of friends.

“TO LOVE!” The crowd echoed.

Lara Jean looked up at Peter who was holding her from behind, smiling ear to ear. He leaned down and kissed her temples. “My love.” Lara Jean felt her heart skip a beat every time he said love to her. It was her new favorite sound in the world.

She swayed to the music in his arms. He followed suit, never realizing how easy they moved together. She felt so at peace. She wanted to live in the world forever.

“Want to go for a walk?” he whispered into her ear. She nodded. He took her hand and spun her around playfully. “Where to first, I ran around the whole place looking for you, I think I know my way around.”

“Did you see the observatory?” she leaned against his warm body.

“There’s an observatory?” he questioned. “I ran around this whole hotel and didn’t even see any of the cool shit.”

He giggled and gazed up at his beautiful face. “Hey Peter.”

“Yeah?” he nodded.

“Can we promise to tell the truth always? Like even if it’s super hard or not fun for either of us. I feel like this could have not been so hard if we just told the truth.”

“I’m in.” he kissed the top of her head and put his arm over her shoulder.

“Good.” She bit her lip. “But I think that means I have to tell you something that happened earlier.” 

He removed his arm and stared her down. “Do I need to be worried?”

“No. I mean. No.” She tried to play it off.

“Oh my gosh, just tell me.” He smiled nervously.

She leaned up against the hallway walls and scratched her head. “Well, earlier I talked with John Ambrose.”

Peter sucked in air. “Okaaaay.”

“We were just talking, um, and then he sorta kissed me.”

“He what?” an anger rose up within him. He couldn’t believe that that asshole would actually try anything.

“But then I slapped him across the face.” She watched him stand their speechless with his mouth wide open. “I mean I am usually totally non-violent, but… please say something.”

His mouth softened into a smile after a moment. “Who are you?”

Lara Jean leaned into him in a fit of laughter. She was so relieved he reacted so well to it. She leaned back against the wall with her face fully flushed.

Peter put his hand on the wall, leaned into her body, and bit his lip. “I’m trying to decide if it’s weird how turned on by you I am right now?” He smirked as Lara Jean pulled him by his jacket lapels to pull him closer to her. Their faces were just millimeters apart. Peter’s lips barely brushed against hers. Lara Jean thought if he didn’t kiss her right now, she was going to die. She lightly rubbed her hands up and down his strong jawline. Her eyelashes tickled his cheek as she finally connected her lips to his.

* * *

The couple walked hand in hand around the back of the hotel. Lara Jean held on to him close to get warmth from the energy radiating off his body. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Peter kissed her on the top of the head and lead her to a bench that looked out over the fields of trees below.

“Anything.” She snuggled into his chest.

“Are you still mad at me for showing up late?”

“I was never mad at you for showing up late. I was mad at you because I was having all these big feelings and didn’t know if you felt the same.” She looked up at him. “Have you met me when I feel out of control?”

“Yes, not my favorite version of you.” He smiled and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“My turn. Why didn’t you tell me until now?”

“Big feelings.” He smiled smugly at her. “I was probably worried that if you didn’t feel the same way, I’d want to throw myself off the top of my building.” He chuckled. “So going on dates then ending up at your place seemed like the best course of action. I guess.”

She sat up and stared into his eyes and smiled. “Since we know that we love each other now, do we need to make a new contract?”

“No. I hate rules.” He pouted. “I think you just gotta have trust.” He kissed her softly.

Her eyes fluttered as she pulled away. “Okay. Fine.” She leaned back into his chest and his arms pulled her closer to him. “I do have one more question for you though.”

“Yeah?” he sighed expecting the worst.

“Want to finish what we started in the bathroom at Gabe’s house?”

* * *

** One Year Later **

“Hello!” Lara Jean yelled out as she entered her house for the holidays.

“You’re here!” Kitty came barreling towards her. She wrapped her sister in a hug.

“Merry Christmas sister.” She let her go, smiling as she took off her coat.

“Where’s Peter?” Kitty questioned not seeing him with her.

“He’s just getting stuff from the car.” She smiled while purposefully tucking her hair behind her ear.

“HOLY SHIT!” she grabbed her sister’s hand and stared at the sparkly ring on her finger. “WHEN? WHAT? WHEN?” she felt speechless.

The click of the door and turned to see Peter sticking his head into their home. “Hey Kitty Cat!” he smiled.

“PETER!” she held up her sister’s hand and shook it around. “WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!”

He smiled cheekily at his fiancé. “You want to tell it or…”

She beamed. “I always told him that I didn’t want to get engaged on Christmas because it’s so basic. Peter said he wanted to have good news to celebrate with our family & he couldn’t wait any longer.” She looked at him lovingly. “We were in the apartment last night and he got down on one knee.” Her voice went up happily. “And I said yes and then almost toppled our Christmas tree jumping around in excitement.”

Kitty, on the edge of tears, continued to marvel at the ring. “Wow. Good job Kavinksy!”

Lara Jean looked over at Peter and giggled. This was sure to be her new favorite Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after ❤   
> Thank you so much for your love on this story!   
> I've loved getting to live in their holiday dream world for a minute!

**Author's Note:**

> I was writing another story when all of a sudden, all I wanted to watch, read & think about was Christmas.  
> Will be posting over the month of December! Happy Holidays friends!


End file.
